But despite this, I still seem to find the energy to cry all the time. I've cried so much the past few days that I don't even know how my eyes can produce tears anymore. Even as I typed these last words I started crying again like an idiot. I'm a broken, ugly shell. Whatever promise my life once held I've destroyed.
Every moment of my existence now is wracked with pain, regret, sadness, and despair. Every night I pray to God to release me from this Hell, only to wake up in the morning sad and resigned that I'm still here. And for what?
My thoughts have been so very dark and filled with hopelessness. I don't know how to get better, or how to make the pain stop.
I don't even know why I'm writing these words.