Jump to content


My mother still refuses to believe me

Posted by Irishleo , 15 June 2014 · 164 views

I had an unpleasant conversation with my mother today about my abuser. One of my sisters wanted to take my 7 year old daughter over to my paternal grandfather's house but I wouldn't let her (I knew my abuser would be there, as he is my uncle). This led to yet another argument between my mom, oldest sister, and I. They both refuse to believe that me and my middle sister were molested by my uncle, and treated me like I was crazy.
It frustrates me to no end. My mother in particular was very scornful, snapping at me that if I was telling the truth then why haven't I gone to the police. I pointed out to her that if my own mother doesn't believe me than why should I expect the police to? It's my word against his. She just kept making rude disbelieving comments to me, which really made me sad. Then she demanded (for the first time ever) that I give her all the specifics. However I refused to do so, as it was obvious that she wasn't asking because she cared, but rather because of skepticism. I didn't even bother to relive the memories with her, what would be the point?
She just kept making it all about her. Finally, she dismissed me because she wanted to read a book. I returned to my room and just reflected on the conversation for a while before coming to a conclusion. I don't care if she believes me, it certainly isn't the first time she's let me down. But as a mother myself, I could never treat my child that way. It;s my job to protect her and cherish her. It's too bad MY mother doesn't feel the same way about HER children.

irish I am so sorry your mother does not believe you. Good for you for choosing to protect your child instead of caving to what they wanted. For what it is worth, I think you were right in not sharing the details. Sounds like she has decided to not believe you and sharing wouldnt change that.

It is not unusual for the oldest to commit to the parents' view of reality.

Well done for holding your ground. You are the sane one.

I am sorry. You don't deserve to be treated that way. It's your choice to share and say whatever you want about what happened. She has no right to demand things for her own sake. 

Recent Comments


Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.