I'm feeling pretty low tonight. I've been hit with yet another betrayal, this time by my sister. And while that is a common enough thing coming from her, it still stings each time. I'm not trying to sit here and pretend I'm perfect or that I've never made mistakes, but I can truly say that I am ALWAYS there for people when they need me. I'm loyal to a fault. And when it comes to my sister, I've made so many sacrifices for her, some of them enormous. But as usual, it means nothing to her. She's always been selfish, and uses and discards people with a frightening ease. She abandoned her own children for a man she barely knew, so I know I shouldn't expect different treatment. Anyway, I heard today that she's been making up lies about me to our family. She's angry with me because she asked for a favor recently and I had to say no so now she's being vindictive. It doesn't matter that I did her a hundred favors or more in the past year, only that this was the ONE time I had to say no and put myself first. Clearly something she just can't forgive.
I'm hurt and angry. I hate that I feel a need to try to hold my family together. No one wants that except me, so why can't I get that through my head? I'm so sad and disappointed in her. I'm also angry with her. But I know she won't speak to me, so there's no point trying. She's not interested in fixing disagreements, only in dictating ALL the terms. I don't understand why she feels so entitled and superior to everyone else.
Sorry for complaining, I'm just feeling really unhappy tonight and writing usually makes me feel a bit better. Thanks for reading, I appreciate the support.