Conflicted by flashbacks
For some reason I don't even understand myself, I just wanted to scream and cry. I know I shouldn't give a crap what this girl thought, but it just made me think of my own family defending my uncle when I've tried to talk about what he did to me. I'm tired of people defending monsters that hurt children. I tried to talk to my mom about how I can't stop having flashbacks, and she got annoyed as usual, telling me that if I'm telling the truth then I would just go to the police. Why can't she understand that I'm afraid? I WANT to go to the police, but if my own family won't stand behind me, why would anyone else? I live in a small town, where my uncle is revered. The thought of people looking at me and knowing what happened makes me feel sick inside, then another part of me despises myself for acting like a coward.
The abuse has had such a profound effect on my life, and it's not fair. I'd say I want my life back, but he ruined my life when I was so young that I NEVER EVEN HAD A CHANCE TO CREATE A LIFE! He robbed me of things that can't ever be replaced, and I will never forgive him for that. Damn him to Hell.