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I'm sick and tired of being used and discarded by the very people that are supposed to care about me. It's one thing when so called 'friends' treat me that way, but even my own family is like that. It's not right. The only time anyone shows up is when they need/want something from me. Otherwise they just live their lives and I never hear from them or see them. Their so called relationships with me are based on what they can get out of me.
None of them care about me. They scarcely even bother to make the pretense. I guess that makes them a little less hypocritical than if they pretended to care... But I would be lying if I didn't admit that it still stings a bit. I know I deserve better than that. I bend over backwards for the people in my life, it's part of my personality of needing to people-please. (a quality that made it easier for my uncle to molest me no doubt) I want to be liked and wanted, but when it comes to my family I know that won't ever happen. How is a person supposed to have a sense of self-worth and good self-esteem when their OWN FAMILY doesn't care if they live or die?
I don't know where to go from here. I thought that by moving back to my hometown that I would be able to build a life for my daughter and raise her around my family. I thought maybe it presented an opportunity to bring everyone closer together, but that hasn't happened. People just resent my presence, and they all just want to isolate themselves as usual. I feel like a ghost here, like someone who doesn't belong and who is invisible....
None of them care about me. They scarcely even bother to make the pretense. I guess that makes them a little less hypocritical than if they pretended to care... But I would be lying if I didn't admit that it still stings a bit. I know I deserve better than that. I bend over backwards for the people in my life, it's part of my personality of needing to people-please. (a quality that made it easier for my uncle to molest me no doubt) I want to be liked and wanted, but when it comes to my family I know that won't ever happen. How is a person supposed to have a sense of self-worth and good self-esteem when their OWN FAMILY doesn't care if they live or die?
I don't know where to go from here. I thought that by moving back to my hometown that I would be able to build a life for my daughter and raise her around my family. I thought maybe it presented an opportunity to bring everyone closer together, but that hasn't happened. People just resent my presence, and they all just want to isolate themselves as usual. I feel like a ghost here, like someone who doesn't belong and who is invisible....
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