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Why won't they listen? Just want a hug :(

Posted by Irishleo , 16 April 2012 · 59 views


I've been trying to tell more of my family about the abuse, but no one will listen to me. They either get mad and say I shouldn't make such terrible accusations without tangible proof, or they don't believe me and say I must have imagined it all. (Oh sorry, I guess as a five year old I should have kept a dna kit at hand for when he attacked me so that years later I could have "tangible proof" to satisfy everyone. Ridiculous.) Why won't they listen to me??? It HAPPENED. Over and over again for years. I feel like crying. Their lack of support makes me feel so incredibly alone. It's hard enough talking about such bad memories, and humiliating. So when I'm met with skepticism and doubt, it hurts me so much. One of my sisters knows it's true since he abused her too, but she doesn't want to talk about it, or pursue the matter. She just wants to move on. But I can't. How can I just do nothing when the man is probably out there molesting other children? Damaging them the way he has damaged me? Don't I have a moral responsibilty to make sure he never hurts anyone else again? Shouln't he face justice for what he's done?

Who do I have if I don't even have my own family? They all want me to be quiet and sweep it under the carpet. Keep things nice and everyone happy. Well what about MY happiness? I'm a broken person and I'm trying with all my might to fix myself, but until I face the past I can't move into the future. How can I heal when I'm not allowed to even acknowledge the wound?

Why is everyone so determined to protect HIM? How about protecting ME for a change? How about being sorry for not protecting me when I was a baby and couldn't protect myself? I'm so angry right now at the injustice. I'm sick of going through this alone.

I even tried to speak to my stepmother this weekend (one of the few people who actually knows it happened but does nothing)and when I tried to talk to her for the first time about it she refused to even discuss it. In the past she has done all she could to cover it up, though for the life of me I don't know why. Again it brings me to the point- Why is everyone covering for my uncle? He's a CHILD MOLESTER! He's an evil monster that deserves to spend the rest of his miserable life in prison. But all anyone seems to care about is silencing me, rather than facing the truth and it's repercussions. I just don't understand.



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Slynderellas
Apr 17 2012 04:07 AM
:yay: I am in the same boat and here for you.. be strong - I feel their reactions are the exact reason I got molested for all those years and they watched me suffer while hiding it all - so selfish.... I am sorry your going thru this.. sometimes you have to get away from the dysfunctional behavior and break the cycle in your life - great blog :hug:
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might4right
Apr 17 2012 05:17 AM
I am so sorry that your families reaction is leaving you feeling so alone. It is not possible to provide that "tangible proof" they are seeking but that doesn't change the FACTS for you. You are stronger than they are which is why you can face the truth and they can't.

YOU are the stronger one! Sitting with you and listening!!!
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purplelikeme
Apr 17 2012 12:13 PM
I'm sorry for what you are going through. You deserve so much better than this, and you're right...it isn't fair. I wish that I had the right words to give you to help you feel less alone. Please know that we are here for you.
Thank you all for your comments, it means a lot to me when people respond and helps me to not feel so alone. Hugs to you all :hug: :hug: :hug:

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