Finally told a therapist for the first time what happened
At first I spoke matter of factly, but as she probed for details I found myself choking and struggling to speak before finally bursting into tears. But it felt so cathartic, like I was releasing some of the pain out of me.
I'm not sure what other people have experienced the first time they told a therapist, but my lady asked so many detailed questions that after a while I started to wonder if it was morbid curiousity on her part or whether she genuinely needed to know. I guess it doesn't really matter though, since talking about it ultimately helped me. I just wondered if that was what most therapists do.
It feels like now I am one step closer to being able to confront my main abuser. I am tired of living in fear.