My dream last night
Last night I dreamt that I was in a room with many family members. In particular, my uncle was there sitting besides my father. Of course, I didn't realize it was just a dream and was afraid. But I decided I'd had enough and told my father once again what my uncle had done to me as a child. (The last time in real life I told my father that my uncle was hurting me I was five or six years old)For a moment it felt so good to be free of this secret I am carrying, but then just like in real life, my father didn't believe me. I woke up in a cold sweat, feeling scared.
For the last few days for some reason I am just doing my normal routine, and then disgusting flashes of my abuser pop into my head. It makes me so angry. How dare he infiltrate my adult life? I don't want to ever think of him, his face, his stupid leer and his arrogant personality. I don't want to see flashes of his drunken face as he assualted me, or remember the physical pain he inflicted on me. I just want him to die and leave me alone. That way other children will be safe, and I will know he is burning in Hell with all the other child rapists just like him.