Jump to content


My dream last night

Posted by Irishleo , 24 February 2012 · 61 views

I haven't written in awhile, but the memories are back again and haunting me.

Last night I dreamt that I was in a room with many family members. In particular, my uncle was there sitting besides my father. Of course, I didn't realize it was just a dream and was afraid. But I decided I'd had enough and told my father once again what my uncle had done to me as a child. (The last time in real life I told my father that my uncle was hurting me I was five or six years old)For a moment it felt so good to be free of this secret I am carrying, but then just like in real life, my father didn't believe me. I woke up in a cold sweat, feeling scared.

For the last few days for some reason I am just doing my normal routine, and then disgusting flashes of my abuser pop into my head. It makes me so angry. How dare he infiltrate my adult life? I don't want to ever think of him, his face, his stupid leer and his arrogant personality. I don't want to see flashes of his drunken face as he assualted me, or remember the physical pain he inflicted on me. I just want him to die and leave me alone. That way other children will be safe, and I will know he is burning in Hell with all the other child rapists just like him.

Recent Comments


Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.