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Bitterly disappointed

Posted by Irishleo , 27 December 2011 · 35 views

Tonight I finally mustered up the courage to tell my mother in detail about the flashbacks I've been having from my childhood abuse. It didn't go well. I have hinted in the past to her about it but tonight I finally went ahead and got it all out. She was skeptical throughout our phone call, and out of all the many things she could have said, she casually asked where she was when this was "supposedly" happening. When I pointed out the obvious that it sometimes happened when she was at work and my uncle was babysitting me (my uncle is from my dad's side of our family, not hers) and other times at night when she was asleep. She just remained silent for the most part on the other end of the phone. Eventually she said I should find out from my dad since I'm saying he knows I was abused and did nothing to protect me. (basically implying she would believe me then, if someone else would confirm it too) I feel so incredibly and bitterly disappointed. What kind of mother remains cool and calm when their child tells them they were raped by a family member for years and as a little kid? That in addition to being molested by the babysitters boyfriend? I even told her how my sister was also abused by the same people, and it seemingly made no difference to her...

I am angry and sad at the same time. I wish I hadn't said anything to her now. I don't know if she is in denial and refuses to believe me because she thinks it would mean she's a bad mother, or if she just thinks I imagined it. Either way, I can't help but feel betrayed. I didn't even have a hymen the first time I had consensual sex, and neither did my sister. (in addition to other health problems she and I have suffered from the rapes that I mentioned in earlier blog entries) The fact that both she and I have similar memories should be more than enough proof to my mother, but apparently it's not good enough.



I am sorry your mother was (I would like to say cruel but that is maybe too strong of a word) far from caring in a supportive believing manner. How she reacted was not very motherly yet perhaps it is just too terrible to accept for her. Your word as an adult 'should' be enough.

My mother disappointed me in a statement she made once which was she did not know (which I do not beleive) and she fogave herself for not protecting me from the evil stepfather. I was angry cuz I thought how nice for her she never has asked me to forgive her.

I think it was a huge step for you to disclose to her with knowledge she may reject what you shared. It was also very brave and in time after your anger disapates it will feel like a healing thing for you.

Blessings
My mother totally refused to believe me when I told her I was abused by the babysitters she took mr to, she even said But you liked going to those babysitters, WAHTEVER! SO I feel your pain. SOrry your going through this. Goofy17
Thank you bellachai and goofy17, I appreciate both of your comments :hug: :hug:

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