Pandora's Aquarium: Bitterly disappointed - Pandora's Aquarium

Tonight I finally mustered up the courage to tell my mother in detail about the flashbacks I've been having from my childhood abuse. It didn't go well. I have hinted in the past to her about it but tonight I finally went ahead and got it all out. She was skeptical throughout our phone call, and out of all the many things she could have said, she casually asked where she was when this was "supposedly" happening. When I pointed out the obvious that it sometimes happened when she was at work and my uncle was babysitting me (my uncle is from my dad's side of our family, not hers) and other times at night when she was asleep. She just remained silent for the most part on the other end of the phone. Eventually she said I should find out from my dad since I'm saying he knows I was abused and did nothing to protect me. (basically implying she would believe me then, if someone else would confirm it too) I feel so incredibly and bitterly disappointed. What kind of mother remains cool and calm when their child tells them they were raped by a family member for years and as a little kid? That in addition to being molested by the babysitters boyfriend? I even told her how my sister was also abused by the same people, and it seemingly made no difference to her...

I am angry and sad at the same time. I wish I hadn't said anything to her now. I don't know if she is in denial and refuses to believe me because she thinks it would mean she's a bad mother, or if she just thinks I imagined it. Either way, I can't help but feel betrayed. I didn't even have a hymen the first time I had consensual sex, and neither did my sister. (in addition to other health problems she and I have suffered from the rapes that I mentioned in earlier blog entries) The fact that both she and I have similar memories should be more than enough proof to my mother, but apparently it's not good enough.