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Irishleo's Blog


Running through quicksand until I disappear

Posted by Irishleo , 11 June 2012 · 138 views

Feel like just giving up. Everything I've been working so hard to put together this week to fix my life and my daughter's is all imploding before it even begins. In one sweep all these things I thought I had arranged are all being taken away from me for one reason or another. I'm terified of what is going to happen, and there is no one to help...


Fed up with my so called mother

Posted by Irishleo , 10 June 2012 · 75 views

After ten years of being disliked and insulted by my mother's boyfriend, he and I finally got in an arguement today. I have never done a thing to this man. I've never been anything but polite to him, but he's always been rude in return for no reason at all. I've even attempted to be friendly at times despite his obvious resentment of me. B...


Brief graphic flashback

Posted by Irishleo , 06 June 2012 · 114 views

This week I have been making positive changes to my life. I'm in the process of going back to college, and have been running around doing lots of appts; legal, medical etc. I was actually feeling proud of myself for keeping so busy and getting things done. After all, keeping busy is the only thing that's been keeping my mind off my impending divor...


angry texts from my ex

Posted by Irishleo , 28 May 2012 · 125 views

My ex keeps sending me upsetting text messages today, with veiled threats. He keeps saying things sarcastically like he hopes I don't have to feel what he is feeling right now and that while for the moment he won't take our daughter away from me, he MIGHT change his mind at any time. He also made angry comments like he hopes me ending the marriage...


Love DOESN'T conquer all

Posted by Irishleo , 22 May 2012 · 113 views

Today my soon to be ex-husband told me that he will not pay me any child support. I know I have the option to go through the courts but I'm scared that if I do that then he will try to take custody of our daughter like he's threatened to. I have so little money, I don't know how I'm even going to afford to start the divorce proceedings. I...


Dealing with the first stage of divorce

Posted by Irishleo , 18 May 2012 · 107 views

Well even though I'm in terrible pain nabout the divorce, I have to say that to my surprise things are getting a tinier bit better every day. I know it's natural to mourn the end of a marriage, and I have probably cried an ocean's worth of tears this week. But even though I am sad there is a big part of me that is actually looking forward to t...


Feeling trapped in a dark place

Posted by Irishleo , 17 May 2012 · 102 views

So... my husband has already cleaned out most of our belongings out of our house now, and already brought in an estate agent to view it so it can be temporarily rented out. I can't believe things are happening so quickly. We are still getting along at this point, but I'm feeling sad and drained at the moment. It's exhausting right now, though...


My heart is shattered

Posted by Irishleo , 15 May 2012 · 115 views

Since I told my husband I wanted a divorce I haven't stopped crying. I'm in agony, and my heart is breaking. I love him soooooo much, I don't want to be apart from him. But neither of us can figure out a way to make things work so we can both be happy. I'm scared I've made the worst decision of my life.

I haven't really eaten in...


I feel like my life is over- trigger warning

Posted by Irishleo , 13 May 2012 · 106 views

I ended my marriage today. I thought I would feel some sense of relief, but instead all I feel is regret and profound sorrow. I want to die. I have never felt this amount of pain in my entire life. I feel like I have turned my back on my soulmate, and ruined everyone's lives. (his, mine, our child's). And why? Because I was so unhappy with certain...


Anyone have a spare hug? :(

Posted by Irishleo , 10 May 2012 · 132 views

All day I just keep worrying that I am making the wrong decision about ending my marriage. I know that ending it is the only logical choice and that it's the right decision for me and my child, but I also know it's not the right thing for my husband. I feel so selfish, and so sad when I think about my husband and what this is going to do to his li...

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