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I've had enough

19 June 2012
Posted by Irishleo  
Everything just keeps going wrong no matter what I do. I'm angry and fed up, and I'm sick of trying so hard and having one thing after another go wrong. I don't know if it's some kind of test or life lesson, but I've had enough. I'm angry and frustrated and sick of trying so hard and not succeeding. I'm tired of looking...
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Posted by Irishleo  
New flashbacks just hit me and I can't stop shaking. My throat feels so tight, and it's hard to breathe. I'm panicking, and I don't know what else to do other than write this all down quickly, maybe it will purge it away from me somehow. I've felt triggery for the last two days, ever since my stepmother said we might be giving...
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Tags: flashback, abuse

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Posted by Irishleo  
Feel like just giving up. Everything I've been working so hard to put together this week to fix my life and my daughter's is all imploding before it even begins. In one sweep all these things I thought I had arranged are all being taken away from me for one reason or another. I'm terified of what is going to happen, and there is no one...
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Posted by Irishleo  
After ten years of being disliked and insulted by my mother's boyfriend, he and I finally got in an arguement today. I have never done a thing to this man. I've never been anything but polite to him, but he's always been rude in return for no reason at all. I've even attempted to be friendly at times despite his obvious resentment...
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Posted by Irishleo  
This week I have been making positive changes to my life. I'm in the process of going back to college, and have been running around doing lots of appts; legal, medical etc. I was actually feeling proud of myself for keeping so busy and getting things done. After all, keeping busy is the only thing that's been keeping my mind off my...
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Posted by Irishleo  
My ex keeps sending me upsetting text messages today, with veiled threats. He keeps saying things sarcastically like he hopes I don't have to feel what he is feeling right now and that while for the moment he won't take our daughter away from me, he MIGHT change his mind at any time. He also made angry comments like he hopes me ending the...
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Posted by Irishleo  
Today my soon to be ex-husband told me that he will not pay me any child support. I know I have the option to go through the courts but I'm scared that if I do that then he will try to take custody of our daughter like he's threatened to. I have so little money, I don't know how I'm even going to afford to start the divorce...
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Posted by Irishleo  
Well even though I'm in terrible pain nabout the divorce, I have to say that to my surprise things are getting a tinier bit better every day. I know it's natural to mourn the end of a marriage, and I have probably cried an ocean's worth of tears this week. But even though I am sad there is a big part of me that is actually looking...
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Posted by Irishleo  
So... my husband has already cleaned out most of our belongings out of our house now, and already brought in an estate agent to view it so it can be temporarily rented out. I can't believe things are happening so quickly. We are still getting along at this point, but I'm feeling sad and drained at the moment. It's exhausting right now,...
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My heart is shattered

15 May 2012
Posted by Irishleo  
Since I told my husband I wanted a divorce I haven't stopped crying. I'm in agony, and my heart is breaking. I love him soooooo much, I don't want to be apart from him. But neither of us can figure out a way to make things work so we can both be happy. I'm scared I've made the worst decision of my life.

I haven't really...
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