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Posted by CoachRachelG  
I recently wrote about the many false beliefs that arise as a result of abuse and how these shape our expectations, which then compel us to prove particular things about ourselves, others, and relationships. Now, we want to take a look at how we are expressing ourselves based on our limiting beliefs.

There are three distinct ways of being that...
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Posted by CoachRachelG  
“One fact of nature is that people have a ‘negativity bias’: we react to the bad more strongly and persistently than to the comparable good ... One consequence of the negativity bias is that when people’s minds are unoccupied, they tend to drift to anxious or angry thoughts. And rumination—dwelling on slights, unpleasant encounters, and sad...
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Posted by CoachRachelG  
Last time, I wrote about the false belief "It's My Fault" that results from trauma, bad experiences or abuse. Today, we take on another major false belief, "There Must Be Something Wrong With Me."

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This particular false belief strikes at the heart of one of the hardest questions we grapple with: Why me? We want so much...
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Posted by CoachRachelG  
Of all of the false beliefs we might develop as a result of abuse, "It's my fault" seems to take root early on and cause the most damage. We blame ourselves in order to achieve a couple of things. First, if we blame the abuser, then we have to acknowledge that someone we love, someone who is close to us, is capable of doing things...
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Posted by CoachRachelG  

Quote

“Current research underscores the wisdom of [Benjamin Franklin’s] chart-keeping approach. People are more likely to make progress on goals that are broken into concrete, measurable actions, with some kind of structured accountability and positive reinforcement.”
—Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project


I couldn’t...
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Posted by CoachRachelG  
There is a time in all of our lives when we have no concept of what deep pain is. Tragedy is oversleeping on Saturday morning and missing our favorite cartoon. We do not understand the frowns we see on all of the big people’s faces. We wonder what could be so bad that they yell, cry, and fight. Life feels light, carefree, innocent, or easy.

There...
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Making Clear Requests

31 July 2012
Posted by CoachRachelG  
[size="5"][size="4"]The more I work with clients who want to move beyond the abuse, the more I am aware of one of the greatest hopes we have: that our hurts will not have been in vain, that there is some way to make it matter.

I know we often look to volunteering with organizations, offering our time and energy to support a...
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Making Clear Requests

05 April 2012
Posted by CoachRachelG  
[font="Tahoma"]The more I work with clients who want to move beyond the abuse, the more I am aware of one of the greatest hopes we have: That our hurts will not have been in vain, that there is some way to make it matter.

I know we often look to volunteering with organizations, offering our time and energy to support a particular...
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Don't Go It Alone!

21 December 2011
Posted by CoachRachelG  
[font="Tahoma"]One of my favorite children's books is the Amazing Mr. Zooty! In the story, Mr. Zooty comes upon a family that is clearly down and out. Knowing they are good-hearted people, he pretends to faint and, in reward for their quickly jumping to his rescue, he gives each of them a wish. Each wish he fulfills with...
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Tags: sexual abuse recovery, communication, relationships, support, coaching

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What's the Meaning of This?

14 December 2011
Posted by CoachRachelG  
[font="Tahoma"]“We are all meaning making machines”

I first heard this description of how we humans work years ago at a workshop I was attending. Recently, when I Googled it, I got over 5 million results! Clearly this is an idea that has been floating around and changing the way people interact with each...
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