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YOU failed.

Posted by JacquiLeigh , 08 October 2011 · 54 views

I can't think of a time when I was ok. I have ALWAYS thought I was ok. Now looking back, even in this moment... I have NEVER been ok. You have no idea how hard that is to admit to myself. Or maybe you do. After all, we're all sort of in this together. Right?

But this isn't me. I wasn't supposed to be messed up. I was supposed to be the strong one that other people turned to and leaned on for support. So why is it so damn hard for me to accept that I need help?

Me. There's something wrong with ME that needs to be fixed. It's not another person's problems I'm dealing with. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

Looking at everything now, it's always been like this.

I was supposed to be the first generation to get a higher education. I was supposed to be the success story. But they broke me down before I even had a voice. Before I had a body. Before I even took a breath I was never destined for these great things. They decided that for me.

Anything short of absolute greatness is complete failure. Guess what? YOU made me fail. YOU all took EVERYTHING from me. You broke me, tore me to pieces.

I can't be the person you all still want me to be... because YOU did this.

I was supposed to be the success of the family. I wasn't supposed to break.


YOU did this. BLAME YOURSELVES.



yes we are in it together.sorry you have to be here to.it's good to direct the blame
where it belongs.that sounds good to me anyway.fire straight and in the right direction.
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JacquiLeigh
Oct 13 2011 12:53 AM
Thanks for the support and extra validation, I really needed that right now. :)

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