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horrid day at work

03 August 2012
Posted by GuitarHero  
Yesterday was an awful day. I had finished my competency test the day before, what a relief... I was going cross-eyed from staring at the questions for so long! So the only things I had left to complete was a skills test and moot court before I'd be let out in the field on my own. The day started out OK. I had a bit of a headache right...
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Letter - T assignment

29 July 2012
Posted by GuitarHero  
My t wanted me to try and write a letter to anyone with whom I have an issue... It's not going to be sent or anything like that, but is a means for me to just say what's on my mind, I guess. I think it was supposed to be freeform, whatever comes out comes out, doesn't need to make sense, etc, but I can't seem to do that. I...
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T session

27 July 2012
Posted by GuitarHero  
So I had my 3rd therapy appointment yesterday. I think I like my T, I think she may be a good fit for me. I guess time will tell. During my first session she asked me a lot of questions, one of them being if I'd ever been the victim of any kind of abuse. I said yes, but didn't elaborate. Yesterday she wanted to know what kind of...
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Voiceless

14 July 2012
Posted by GuitarHero  
I managed to go through with it and meet with a T for a consultation. She seems nice enough. I'm still not sure how I feel about her, but I decided to give her a try. My last attempt at therapy was not what I'd hoped it would be. I went for 5 years and never opened up. There'd be things I wanted to talk about or at least felt I...
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Posted by GuitarHero  
Today I was talking to a coworker, telling her how my camera hates me and how it malfunctions at the most inopportune times... One of the solutions my trainer and I figured out was if you removed the big flash and rubbed the hot shoe on the camera (where the flash connects to the camera) it starts working again. My coworkers response... "So...
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I am disgusting.

07 July 2012
Posted by GuitarHero  
...

This is so embarrassing to talk about. I'm not comfortable discussing anything that has to do with sexuality. It's not something I talk about. Period.




Lately I've been feeling really...uh...aroused :blush: and it makes me feel dirty and disgusting. I just want it to go away! I find myself getting aroused at...
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Posted by GuitarHero  
I feel stuck. I feel like there is no light at the end of a very long tunnel. I feel abnormal, but not in a good way. Mostly I feel fed up and tired.

I put on a good act most of the time, but I really want to scream at the top of my lungs. I have no idea what I'd scream, but whatever... I'm sick of people treating me like an idiot at...
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Posted by GuitarHero  
I'm just going to write whatever comes to mind. Not going to care if it's out of order or makes no sense. That's actually really challenging for me because I usually agonize over everything I write and edit a lot.

Everything annoys me. Everything. Things at work are tense and uncomfortable. I dread going there. My trainer is...
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Posted by GuitarHero  
This is something I posted in My Voice, but it was a little disjointed and out of order so I've edited it to flow a bit better..

In a lot of ways I'm a very sensitive person. I get upset if I've upset someone else, I don't take criticism well, I find it difficult to hear about or discuss anything to do with abused children or SA,...
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Posted by GuitarHero  
I had a rather ridiculous reaction to something the other day which got me wondering, "why the fuck do I react to things the way I do?" I posted last night that I feel like I'm crazy and have no control over my emotions or my reactions to certain situations. Things that should cause some sort of reaction don't, while...
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