Pandora's Aquarium: T session - Pandora's Aquarium

So I had my 3rd therapy appointment yesterday. I think I like my T, I think she may be a good fit for me. I guess time will tell. During my first session she asked me a lot of questions, one of them being if I'd ever been the victim of any kind of abuse. I said yes, but didn't elaborate. Yesterday she wanted to know what kind of abuse. I couldn't bring myself to say it so she asked me to write down how old I was, who it was, and what type of abuse. So I did just that...bullet points, if you will. I did have a hard time giving her the pad of paper back :unsure:/> but eventually I did. Then I fidgeted for the rest of the session, barely made eye contact.

She did say something yesterday that I found validating... She asked me whether or not I told anyone at the time, which I did, I told my mother. Then she asked me if my mother ever discussed it with me, the answer to that is a resounding NO. She believed me, he wasn't welcome in our home after that, but nothing was ever said. My T's response was, "That's fucked up." The more I think about it, I think that's exactly what I needed to hear. It is fucked up that everything was swept under the rug. It's fucked up that I was left to deal with this, or not deal with it, on my own. Of course, she didn't just leave it at "that's fucked up", but that initial reaction is what I keep hearing in my head. It makes me think that maybe its not my fault that I'm so damaged. I'm sure that thought will waver and I'll have a hard time truly believing it, but right now it's flickering at the back of my mind.