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Clemsta's Blog



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silver lining... for now

Posted by Clemsta , 28 August 2013 · 173 views

Okay so I had a bit of a breakdown the other day and ended up self-harming.
A stupid set back! I had been doing so well.
Saw my therapist which was hard as we started to get into the dark stuff...
But I was honest with my BF and I thought he'd be angry at me for self-harming, but he was just glad I told him.
He was really nice and cuddled me when...


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Trying so hard to keep on the rails.

Posted by Clemsta , 23 August 2013 · 175 views

Feeling like everything is out of my control.
Feeling like I'm rowing without a paddle.
Just want to find a rock and crawl under it.
Just want to hide from everyone.
Can't be arsed with the pretending.
Can't be arsed with the same old shit everyday.
Trying so hard to not self harm, and its taking all of my energy.
Trying to be brave.
So fed up...


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so much has happened...

Posted by Clemsta , 22 August 2013 · 160 views

My life so far has been pretty much a disaster.
Abused as a child... by a woman...
As a teen groomed by a teacher for 4/5years...
Constantly having old men trying it on with me, getting me into situations I'm stuck in.
In an emotionally abusive relationship for over a year...
Relationship with a gambler who cheated on me.
In and out of counselling si...


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Been so long...

Posted by Clemsta , 22 August 2013 · 102 views

It's been so long, why can't I move on?
So many images in my head, haunting me while I'm trying to sleep in my bed.
So many fears, so many insecurities seeping out in the form of tears.
Use to be so good at pushing it all down, so good at not complaining and not making a sound.
Quick to anger.
Irrational.
Upset.
Wish it didn't bother me ev...





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