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I feel like I conquered Mt Everest

Posted by might4right , 20 April 2012 · 61 views

To a normal person I would definetly sound crazy BUT for me going to the doctor for a check up and pap smear is almost Everst worthy. :yahoo: It is something I have not done in 20 years. (over 20 years for regular check up and about 12 years for pap smear) I have seen doctors in that time but always for a specific purpose or specialty where I could get...


Dear Mom and Dad,

Posted by might4right , 15 April 2012 · 102 views

How do I even begin to express to you the hurt and anger I feel towards you at times? Being a parent is a lifelong commitment to health, safety and welfare of a child. During my childhood years you failed at all three of those. I tried for so many years to "let you off the hook" using your own naivety as an excuse. But I am realizing that ther...


My homework from therapy

Posted by might4right , 12 April 2012 · 77 views

So my homework this week is to write two letters that are uncensored. One letter to my parents releasing all my anger and frustration for their complete FAILURE to protect me. And one letter to my brother.

Need a few more days to try to wrap my head around how to even start letters like that!

**these letters would not be sent to them but they will...


Feeling really anxious right now!

Posted by might4right , 10 April 2012 · 69 views

Tried to talk to my mom to narrow down the timeframe of my "medical procedure" when I was little. We narrowed it down to ages 7-9. I asked her if I was having the stomach aches at the same time. (nerve pains that the doctor was afraid was going to cause ulcers) Yes, it was around the same time. Then my mom said "And we really started havi...


Unlocking the doctor mystery!

Posted by might4right , 07 April 2012 · 67 views

Therapy helped uncover alot of issues regarding my upcoming doctor visit. Since scheduling the appt I have been very anxious. My subconscious was screaming at me for two days not to go to the doctor. "If you tell, you can never take it back". I found myself talking to myself trying to tell little girl me that it is ok...the secret is out and e...


Huge step for me today!

Posted by might4right , 04 April 2012 · 29 views

Did something that I haven't done in over 10 years...schedule a well visit/annual exam with a doctor. I have never been a fan of regular checkups with a doctor. When I am sick I just go to a walking clinic and take care of what I have. Always thought "well...no one LIKES going to the doctor". Starting to realize how bad I DO NOT EVEN LIKE...


Crazy Emotions

Posted by might4right , 29 March 2012 · 25 views

My emotions have been so out of whack this past week. I get emotional over the simplest things and start crying. I had just bathed one of my dogs the other day and as I was toweling her off she reached over and licked my face. I started crying and sobbing and begging her to be ok (she is getting older and starting to show signs of arthrities). It just...


Finally...a father's heart opened!

Posted by might4right , 26 March 2012 · 18 views

I had another talk with my father and I finally began to see a glimmer of hope. I think it is really beginning to sink in to him the effects and the severity of the abuse. He is finally beginning to understand that there is NO SUCH THING as a consenting 12 year old child. (Yes, he actually justified what he saw by convincing himself I was consenting to...


I have the right to set boundaries on how I want to be treated

Posted by might4right , 16 March 2012 · 37 views

This was an important discovery in therapy this week. I have to right to let my father know how I want to be treated. I start getting caught in the guilt trap. Guilty that my dad is hurting. Guilty that my mom feels stuck in the middle. Guilty that this has also affected my younger brothers relationship with my dad. SO MUCH GUILT creeps in. My T he...


My dad does not get it

Posted by might4right , 13 March 2012 · 19 views

Talked to my mom today. She told me my dad is REALLY upset about how this whole thing is happening. He said he feels like we (my husband and I) are avoiding or ignoring him at church. I laughed out loud to her and said that is exactley what we are doing. I told her what part of him doesn't understand that I CHOOSE NOT TO ACCEPT SILENCE OR DENIAL o...

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