Help
Welcome to Pandora's Aquarium, a rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivor message board and chat room.
If you've been a victim of any type of sexual violence, you belong here. What you see below represents just a fraction of the resources and survivor support available. Register now to join our community and take full advantage of what this online support group has to offer you as you heal and recover, or sign in to remove this message.
You are not alone, we can support you as you heal, and you've made an important step toward recovery by reaching out. If you are unable to register or have any questions, please contact the staff or view our home page.
I wonder sometimes if I will ever get to a point in my life where I will be the "normal" that other people are. Like will I ever have sex and not somehow get what I call "that baby feeling." Even as a young child I knew something was different about me but I don't remember anything ever happening. I think that if I could remember then I would know why I became a victim later in life, and to someone who I should have been able to trust. Maybe nothing happened when I was a kid, but he got me anyway. To know that he is spending life in prison for the same thing to someone else does not help me. Rather, I think that if it had been a crime when it happened to me, and if I had had the courage to speak up and say MY HUSBAND IS RAPING ME that maybe that person would have been safe. I didn't say a word--hid it from everyone. Did not leave my front porch. Did not call my mother. Did not fight back after the baby died inside me. What was the point? It wasn't until my son was born that I stood up for myself. And why was it so easy to get away then? Did I really finally start to scare HIM, or had he just moved on to someone else already and didn't need me anymore?
Share This Entry:
BethAnnie likes this
