I'm in the midst of a another dissociative episode. I am passing as fine on the outside but inside I am scared and confused. I couldn't talk about it to my partner today. I know that he wants more sex with me but I just can't do it. D: How do I tell him for the millionth time that I am a scared little girl inside who needs his support? I feel so guilty for making him deal with my emotions. It is hard for him. I know it is.
I'm not sure that I can fake it until my psych appointment next week. I am supposed to be diagnosed with PTSD and a dissociative disorder then. At least, that is what I think they will diagnose me with. I honestly hope they do. Then I can give a name to this, this malaise, this wrongness.