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frustration

Posted by chelirach , 17 January 2013 · 110 views

I feel incapable and useless at the moment, frustrated with myself. I waste hours of time when I have tons of things to do but I cannot seem to get things done. It is lie I am paralyzed and time flies by and I am not even certain where it goes.

There is so much I want to get out, but I can't, the thoughts in my head will not form into words that I can speak or write. I am just stuck in the circle of memories with no place to put them



I know of what you speak more or less have the same experience, and with the added bonus of not even being aware. Being stuck is a defense I suppose and came in handy at the time but has outlived it usefulness to the point of being detrimental not to mention frustrating !
I invented a little trick, where hard as it may be and contrary to everything in my body and soul, I make a move. Strike out with some small action, some intention while trying to stay conscious throughout. The helplessness and powerlessness still alive and well in me, and it breaks my heart to experience it now. A relic from the past, a way of being that was inflicted on my psyche as a child. How to unlearn this stuff... how to convince your unconscious once and for all that you are safe now.

Wow, I didn't know I was going to write all that stuff just now.

Anyway, it's an idea, the point is I can relate to what you have written. Take care.
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Untangling-It-All
Jan 22 2013 07:50 PM
I wish I had something helpful to say to help with this. I hope you can become unstuck soon.

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