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Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!
There is still plenty of time and spaces if you'd like to sign up for the Guest Speaker Chat scheduled for this Saturday!
There is still plenty of time and spaces if you'd like to sign up for the Guest Speaker Chat scheduled for this Saturday!
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Six months later I still miss my old therapist. Not as badly as I used to, the pain is not nearly as deep, but the longing is still there. Usually when I am really struggling, or coming out of an intense session with my new therapist. What I miss is the comfort. Her ability to just make me feel better. Her words, her voice, her love, her compassion. She was the mother I never had.
I really like my new therapist. She is great. That is not what it is about. She is just different. And I like the ways she is different. I like her way of interacting with me, she is caring, she is warm in her own way. She is incredible grounded, she just feels solid. She knows herself, she knows her stuff, and seems just completely conscious in a way my old therapist did not. But she does not feel guarded, I can feel her vulnerability, I can feel who she is. I like the feeling, I like being in her office, I like being with her.
She has a way of pointing things out to me that I was completely unaware of, reframing things in a way that suddenly make sense. I like that her boundaries are different, I like that she is more private I like that she does not enter the work the way my old therapist did, she is there, but separate. With my old therapist it sometimes felt there was no separate. We were in it together. My new therapist is there with me, but not. If that makes sense. I cannot really describe it
It actually helps me go deeper, into things I could never go into with my old therapist. I don't worry like I used to, about how she feels or how she might respond. It feels more about me, where with my old therapist it felt about us. My old therapist was more relational, more apt to share her feelings or stuff about herself. Which was fine, it was what I needed. But it also got in the way at times, of my process. I know this is mostly about me mostly my projections and experience. My new therapist is different, she shares rarely, and usually about training, since it is a common experience. It actually makes me uncomfortable when she shares something personal. She is deep, she gets me, I am doing good work with her. It is a good process.
But none of that changes missing my old therapist. I wish she had never moved. I wish she was still here, that she was still my therapist. I saw her in October at a conference. We have emailed some. I will see her in April at another conference. We are supposedly moving into a friendship. But it is not the same. None of it will ever be the same
I am not sure where I am going with this. Just that I wish I no longer felt this. It just feels unfair in a lot of ways. It makes me feel very alone.
I really like my new therapist. She is great. That is not what it is about. She is just different. And I like the ways she is different. I like her way of interacting with me, she is caring, she is warm in her own way. She is incredible grounded, she just feels solid. She knows herself, she knows her stuff, and seems just completely conscious in a way my old therapist did not. But she does not feel guarded, I can feel her vulnerability, I can feel who she is. I like the feeling, I like being in her office, I like being with her.
She has a way of pointing things out to me that I was completely unaware of, reframing things in a way that suddenly make sense. I like that her boundaries are different, I like that she is more private I like that she does not enter the work the way my old therapist did, she is there, but separate. With my old therapist it sometimes felt there was no separate. We were in it together. My new therapist is there with me, but not. If that makes sense. I cannot really describe it
It actually helps me go deeper, into things I could never go into with my old therapist. I don't worry like I used to, about how she feels or how she might respond. It feels more about me, where with my old therapist it felt about us. My old therapist was more relational, more apt to share her feelings or stuff about herself. Which was fine, it was what I needed. But it also got in the way at times, of my process. I know this is mostly about me mostly my projections and experience. My new therapist is different, she shares rarely, and usually about training, since it is a common experience. It actually makes me uncomfortable when she shares something personal. She is deep, she gets me, I am doing good work with her. It is a good process.
But none of that changes missing my old therapist. I wish she had never moved. I wish she was still here, that she was still my therapist. I saw her in October at a conference. We have emailed some. I will see her in April at another conference. We are supposedly moving into a friendship. But it is not the same. None of it will ever be the same
I am not sure where I am going with this. Just that I wish I no longer felt this. It just feels unfair in a lot of ways. It makes me feel very alone.
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It's great to hear your new therapist is there for you in such an individual and separate way. Some-thing about feeling the person knows her-self really helps one go deeper (I have the same relation-ship with my dietician. The woman rawks) and the fact that you have been able to trust and open up to her after being separated from a therapist whom you obviously cared deeply about speaks volumes about this therapist's abilities and trustworthiness. I am glad you have her in your life, even though she is so different from your old therapist. Just remember it's okay to miss this person you had connected to so much, but that the feeling of aloneness will pass over time.
Take good care of your-self.