'I feel pretty, I feel pretty, I feel pretty - and witty - and gay!'
Well I do feel pretty - I've gained weight over the last 6 months but nonetheless I have regained a sparkle in my eyes, colour in my cheeks and just started exercising again.
I realise now that, feeling good (for me) is no longer dependant on the external. When I was a teenager - to a point, it was. My image would determine the esteem I allowed myself to have. now, it is the reverse. my inner pysche is the compass. And it is much, much healthier
It goes without saying that healing is a process and an all encompassing one at that. stripped bare we re-learn the steps of life and the dances of relationships -albeit with ourselves, others, intimately or within a work environment.
I look forward to getting fit - for the benefits of my mind and also to feel sexy again. Feeling sexy might be a little daunting at first - but for now the idea is illustrious.
i am single -
I moved again in the city (safer, nicer, cleaner house)
i still work for the same company and i admit i dont like my job! there are a few bullies in this company and I feel ready for something quiet, peaceful and feminine. I honestly wouldnt mind working in a library or beauticians for a bit. just something straight forward and in a relaxing environment
I still stick up for myself when 'friends' push boundaries - sometimes they run back and say sorry, other times they go. either way - its me first. im proud of that
Im going to New York in March - im proud of that too
mostly - aside from the rape and even before that all i wanted to do is become a published author - and that is still my goal. now more than ever, i know who i am and what i want - and it feels bloody fantastic
share how far you have come below!
Love Abby xo