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Piinks problems and progress



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only one area still to overcome

Posted by piink , 02 April 2012 · 19 views

Talking with my nurse case manager we started talking about her childhood..that brought up memories from a specific time in mine..being exploited.that made me realize two things 1) i'm not that over it and 2)I think an area dedicated to that particular depravity would be something I know I sure would benefit from and others as it has it's own kind...


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continuation number 3 and last ramble for tonight

Posted by piink , 14 December 2011 · 26 views

Im just complaining. I have nothing positive to say. I cant even think a positive thought. Ive developed siezure like activity the last year. Had it checked out. Im told after 4 days of being hooked up to a machine " mr robinson...your crazy. Theres nothing wrong with u. Stop wasting our time and go away" that was a year ago. Ive developed things...


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continuation number 2

Posted by piink , 14 December 2011 · 20 views

Im ...im...idk. Scared is a good word.alone is another. I have been praying alot more lstely. But not for life. For an end. Im so tired of suffering. Ive been suffering my entire life but for the only 2 1/2 year period i was happy.content.had problems, but the happiness i felt for life,the contentmant i had for myself overshadowed things.or maybe i was ju...


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continuation of last entry

Posted by piink , 14 December 2011 · 21 views

Holding the devils hand with one and...things...with the other.ive been in so much physical,emotional pain thats been so overwhelming for so long im beyond the point i can deal with it. There in is the major problem. i cannot deal with it . I have no fight left.THIS IS NOT A SUICIDE NOTE OR GOODBYE LETTER its frustration and not knowing what to do. Not kn...


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i want to kill myself...but i dont want to die...the problem is i do...

Posted by piink , 14 December 2011 · 14 views

Ive been on a downward spiral into a black,empty void for the last month? The fact its "the holidays" doesnt help. ive ended up inpatient on a one to one ...december 25 last 3 years.the older i get,the closer i get to being an "adult",the harder it becomes.
I always equated adulthood with abuse,imorality,fear,pain,guilt, shame among...


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still in darkness...falling..wondering when im gong to hit bottom and how much it will huirt..and will i be able to take the pain

Posted by piink , 27 June 2011 · 22 views

:bawling: i can barely handle this pain...this overwhelmiong pain,fruistration, anger, hatered, loss..the triggers are worse then theyve ever been, the falshbacks never seem to end and they are of times that were always the most viloant, the sickest, me being the most degradded(id have to "thank" my stepfather for allowing me to have clothes o...


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From: im nothing today becasue back then i was nothing

Posted by piink , 26 June 2011 · 42 views

Source: im nothing today becasue back then i was nothing


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Got new T...i like her

Posted by piink , 25 June 2011 · 21 views

I HAve a new T.getting a new psychiatrist ,too.one that believes certian things like anxiery and panic attacks should be medicared ro help with dealijg with them..my old one didnt believe medication eeally hwlped other then the diffeeant anti depressants he has had me on..im on geodon and prozac and for once in almost ten years a combination that actually...


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From: First post here: why is it still going on?the pain,etc.

Posted by piink , 25 June 2011 · 28 views

Im 48..what happened to me ended when i was 17. But it started when i was 5 by my dad, then agian by stepfather, then agian by neighbors when 15~17. My stepfather inderectly..he involved me in exploitation and child porn for 5 years.
that period is the hardest to deal with.i thought by now over 25 years has past but it still feels like yesterday...ive...


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Cont

Posted by piink , 17 June 2011 · 17 views

Ive been overwhelmed by these feelings(what a strange word feelings,emotions seems like a better word in this instance) Im going in circles,always back to the beginning..there is reason behind this im sure..even tho the beginning of this particular time,place,type of abuse(sexual,pornagraphic,child kind)there is a reason my mind has chosen now to keep suc...






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Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.