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Today is not going well for me. I started off my day with a really bad trigger and it is all I can focus on right now. My poor boyfriend...he knows that something is wrong but he doesn't know just how wrong that something is. He doesn't even know his declarations of concern makes my mood worse and I feel so horrible about it.
I have been trying all day to hold myself in the eye of my emotional storm. I fight so hard to not give into the painful flashbacks and sickening thoughts of "I'm alone" and "Nobody would care." All I really want to do is be by myself and cry myself into a deep sleep. But fate would have it so that I do not have the luxury of time to do that and I must merely soldier on through my day with my mask of indifference.
However, I feel like I can't. I can't wait until this day has ended.
I have been trying all day to hold myself in the eye of my emotional storm. I fight so hard to not give into the painful flashbacks and sickening thoughts of "I'm alone" and "Nobody would care." All I really want to do is be by myself and cry myself into a deep sleep. But fate would have it so that I do not have the luxury of time to do that and I must merely soldier on through my day with my mask of indifference.
However, I feel like I can't. I can't wait until this day has ended.
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