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I dont know what to do anymore

Posted by canadiangirl92 , 24 July 2011 · 18 views

two wednesdays ago, I was working (I'm a waitress) and it was really stupidly busy, and M's old room mate from last year came in and was sat in my section. He was there when M raped me, he was downstairs in his room and didn't even lift a finger when i screamed. He and M did too many drugs to realize what was going on. No one at my restaurant knows what M did to me so I obviously couldnt say anything to my boss. I started shaking uncontrollably and I felt like i was going to cry and/or throw up, and it was only the room mate. He sat in my section for two hours, the entire time i was having a massive panic attack but of course i had to hide it by putting a fake smile on my face while inside i felt like dying. It felt like he was there forever, it went from fear that he was going to tell M where i work now, to anger that he didnt do anything while i screamed, to feeling sick. I was an emotional roller coster for 2 hours. after my shift had ended i sat in my car and bawled my eyes out. it was awful i had the pain and fear flow through my entire body i was in so much pain.

All that knew thought i was super strong, but now im starting to think that im not, like what if i see M? Throw up? Cry? Shake?

I dont know who to turn to, or what to do?

GAR



Hey GAR - Sounds to me like you ARE super strong. I am not sure I would have been able to hold out until my shift was over if I were in your position. I don't have any advice. I am just so sorry that this happened to you. All things considered, you did very well with a horrible situation.
agree with Cherub, i'd have broken down. stay strong, it'll get easier with time and talking xxx
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canadiangirl92
Jul 26 2011 03:03 AM
thanks Clemsta and Cherub, i seriously don't know how i lasted through my entire shift, i barely did. thnxs for support xoxo

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