Almost a year later
I had my abortion a week ago today, and i'm glad i did it for my own reasons. Everything went smoothly and i am on the road to recovery. The one lovely side affect is my hormones gone off "their" rocker.
To make things worse, it's been a year since i met M, by next month, it'll have been a year since the assault. It makes me very uneasy and on edge because I feel like I just closed the door on the whole situation and I've accepted the fact that what happened happened and i can only learn from it and become a better person, but i feel like i am starring at the door and its starting to crack open.
I know that its difficult no matter what but it feel like its 10 times worse then it is because of my crazy hormones going all over the place.
And for the lovely cherry on top, the panic attacks are back and i feel like they're stronger and harder to stop then before. Is it just the crazy hormones or is it that I haven't fully accepted my past???