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unable to be saved

07 October 2011
Posted by anji13  
another good-bye
to turn my back on
other days were simple
predictable

I see my cracks
glass bones
I'm so breakable

I take nothing from you
but you take anything
everything down to my fragments
my breath
my beating heart

you live in that dusty corner
standing in the room
where no one else can see
this is just
me

I'm on a road
to who...
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low points

06 October 2011
Posted by anji13  
Found myself journaling again but not in a helpful way. Took out my old composition that I started with my ED and not only feeling at home with all thats in it but also adding to it again. I dont want to start that road but part of me cant let it go either.

i know i should toss the journal but i cant bring myself to destroy it or break apart from...
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new quote

06 October 2011
Posted by anji13  
i found this today, i dont know who said it originally but i love it.

There's a story behind every person.
There's a reason why they are the way they are.
And sometimes,
you can't fix them.

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hard week

06 September 2011
Posted by anji13  
This week has been impossible.
I run around trying to avoid the fact that my half brothers death anniversary is coming up. This Sunday it will be ten years. And I have no one who can sit with me this time.

His name was Mike Roberts and he worked for Ladder 35 FDNY. He died in the South Tower of the WTC. I see the pictures on every news agency...
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other SI's

25 August 2011
Posted by anji13  
So I just finished this article about self harming, which was good yet wasnt. One point that really bothered me was how the author seemed to believe that only teenagers suffer. NOT TRUE. And they also seemed to be under the impression that it is a temporary phase that teens go through.

They made it sound so simple. So easy to be rid of.

Those...
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unable to explain

12 August 2011
Posted by anji13  
So I always get anxious when my best friend comes over and i dont overly know why. I love her and all but part of me is just scared that she'll find out about my "real" self I guess.

We became friends after my SA and at the time i was in a dark place (darker than now) and wasnt telling anyone about it. She knows about my attempted...
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frozen

11 August 2011
Posted by anji13  
There are times when i think that all *this* will be okay. that maybe that day, at that moment, things arent so bad and i can work it out. something good will happen but i can't accept it. or something or my brain just works against me and it all goes to sh@@.

why can't i just enjoy something?
why can't i just trust someone and be...
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to my past

10 August 2011
Posted by anji13  
No one knows where we go
Nothing's ever carved in stone

Still we roam
From roads we know so well
carrying with us the weights of the past

and the ghosts we leave behind
sit around in the darkness
with hate left unspoken

I hope they all can see
that I never meant to let them down

all the things i've done
we done to me not them
yet they...
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to myself

10 August 2011
Posted by anji13  
If I could talk to myself as a child, a time traveling message in a bottle, I would warn that little girl. I would tell her that everything is about to be alot harder and the world is no longer going to be safe.

I would tell her about the man that would ruin our lives, and promise to hold her close. But if my words reach her too late, I would...
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ulifeline

03 August 2011
Posted by anji13  
so this is going to be a long rant with possible triggers...so sorry

so i know i've abnormally depressed
its impossibly clear. for years i have been stuck in this warp of work and being a single parent. still struggling with the effects of all the crap i'd gone through as a kid but shoving it so far on that metaphorical back-burner that i...
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