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Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!
There is still plenty of time and spaces if you'd like to sign up for the Guest Speaker Chat scheduled for this Saturday!
There is still plenty of time and spaces if you'd like to sign up for the Guest Speaker Chat scheduled for this Saturday!
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So I sit here tonight, alone in my room, huddled up in my bed and I start to wonder. Ya know, you do everything they want you to. You talk about, you do all the stupid journal exercises, you take whatever pills they want you to take..
i go out more. i talk to more people. i'm a god damn social butterfly when i dont even want to be. but nothing changes.
the ED goes then returns. the SI never really leaves. even when i'm not physically doing it, my brain is plotting what i could do. and finds other means of punishing myself that people dont think of as self harm.
i can't stand up straight.
i cant look at my own reflection.
its hard to even sit with friends or answer the phone
its hard
so why isnt this helping? why are the steps leading to something better?
i dont even care anymore. part of me wants to be better. wants to be able to share a normal conversation with someone without thinking of something worse.
the rest of me just assumes its never getting better. and so far, that aspect is right.
i go out more. i talk to more people. i'm a god damn social butterfly when i dont even want to be. but nothing changes.
the ED goes then returns. the SI never really leaves. even when i'm not physically doing it, my brain is plotting what i could do. and finds other means of punishing myself that people dont think of as self harm.
i can't stand up straight.
i cant look at my own reflection.
its hard to even sit with friends or answer the phone
its hard
so why isnt this helping? why are the steps leading to something better?
i dont even care anymore. part of me wants to be better. wants to be able to share a normal conversation with someone without thinking of something worse.
the rest of me just assumes its never getting better. and so far, that aspect is right.
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