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dont really have any where else to turn tonight so i'm posting here. i was denied entry into a SI group therapy study today because I am too old to fit the therapist's target age. It would've been a free study which is key because i can't afford therapy on my own.
it was heart breaking. to be denied help that i voluntarily offered myself for. i dont want to be critical of others or make it seem like my issues are more important than someone else but i'm just so entirely lost right now.
i dont ask for help often. rarely if ever. i've been slipping alot lately and just needed something concrete to turn to. and then this guy, this stranger asks my age and without even talking to me says no you're too old. it was like he was saying i wasnt valid. i'm not important enough to get help.
errrrr just so incredibly frustrated.
on top of it too i've been having terrible insomnia, no sleeping in three days.
shouldnt i be over this by now? when does it start to get easier?
:tear:/> :tear:/>
so embarrassed to be me right now. just want to curl up and cry for the next week. :shy:/>
it was heart breaking. to be denied help that i voluntarily offered myself for. i dont want to be critical of others or make it seem like my issues are more important than someone else but i'm just so entirely lost right now.
i dont ask for help often. rarely if ever. i've been slipping alot lately and just needed something concrete to turn to. and then this guy, this stranger asks my age and without even talking to me says no you're too old. it was like he was saying i wasnt valid. i'm not important enough to get help.
errrrr just so incredibly frustrated.
on top of it too i've been having terrible insomnia, no sleeping in three days.
shouldnt i be over this by now? when does it start to get easier?
:tear:/> :tear:/>
so embarrassed to be me right now. just want to curl up and cry for the next week. :shy:/>
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I'm sorry, but I don't think that SI group therapy should be targeted to only one age. Because teens are not the only people who turn to SI. Heck, I'm 47, and struggle with it sometimes as much as I did when I was a teen.
I don't blame you at all for being so frustrated. I would be.
Please, don't be embarrassed. You have no need to. I don't think there's a time limit on being over any kind of trauma. Or for having insomnia. Or any of the other things you are struggling with.
Please, I hope you can try to not be hard on yourself. It sounds like you're doing the best you can. I hope you can treat yourself gently, with kindness. You definitely deserve it!
SAfe hugs, if ok.
I guess because it is his study group for him writing a thesis on how teens deal with SI. Though the ad for it didnt mention an age. So it was a shock when I called.
It was at a community center and they offer free group therapy there but each group is set up for certain things. They offer an abuse group that I used to go to but the person who runs that one doesnt like to talk about SI subjects because she says that the topic is how to recover from physical abuse. I stopped going to that one.
I dunno.
Guess I'll just keep rambling on here.
But thank you for reading and saying something.