I run around trying to avoid the fact that my half brothers death anniversary is coming up. This Sunday it will be ten years. And I have no one who can sit with me this time.
His name was Mike Roberts and he worked for Ladder 35 FDNY. He died in the South Tower of the WTC. I see the pictures on every news agency and newspaper all over again.
And I'm finding my SI behaviors and ED issues are slamming into me really hard this week. With a sense that I'm alone, I dont know what to do. So I'm here, leaving some pointless rant. Hoping that maybe if I keep writing things down that it'll be easier to cope with everyday.
With this week.
I just need a decent hug and a friend. And yet ....
There's no one simply because I've pushed them all out of my life. And I don't know how to get the decent ones back.