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seriously who gives a sh@@

Posted by anji13 , 03 August 2011 · 31 views

I've been on here for a little while. I know I'm not the most active person on forums and such but I still find it rather disheartening to barely see any response to anything.
I read through alot of posts in forums and try to post but usually think that whatever I say is worthless and pointless and isnt worth putting down. I'm sure there are better people who are more ... composed with expressing themselves that can help someone.
I'm not. I never know what to say to someone else. All I can say in most cases is 'i know what you're going through' but can't give anything more useful than that.
And i hate adding posts that to me just seem like I'm complaining or wallowing.
I just dont know what to do anymore. Everything just goes by me and I try to interact. Try to be active but nothing in me can do it.
so what does it matter
i'm just...so ...discouraged with myself mainly that even though i want help i cant get myself to reach out or express myself or make myself interact...

whats the point of even trying


:confused: :bawling: :shy:



most days i'm just trying to convince myself to not hurt myself
and sometimes i do

i just burned my entire arm..on purpose..and no one that sees me on a daily basis has even said anything or asked if im okay...

just want to sit down and cry insanely and disappear
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missophelia
Aug 03 2011 07:15 PM
Hey

First of all, I can so relate to what you wrote in your comment. I used to SI, and my mother saw me every day, and I never hid what I did. And she never said one word. And I know how badly that hurts. And as hard as it is (because it is for me), maybe crying would help. But I don't want you to disappear.

About what you've written in your blog, I've felt that way, too. Like, what's the use. Because it is disheartening. I blog every evening, and there are a lot of evenings that no one comments. But I also understand that sometimes it's hard to know what to say. I read an awful lot of blogs, or even posts in the forums, where I want to say something, but I'm not sure what to say.

But just because no one responds, it doesn't mean that no one hears you. And maybe some of the people who read what you post feel the same way. And maybe sometimes, saying I know what you're going through is just what someone else needs to hear, because they realize they aren't alone.

I think sometimes, what you think might be complaining, is just you venting, and that's a good thing.

I hope you don't give up here. And I hope it gets easier for you. SAfe :hug: :hug: if ok.
Thank you

and i did just go and cry my eyes out. feel a bit like a jerk right now by writing all that stuff. i sound so whiny and annoying. but thank you that did mean a great deal to me. :blush:
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missophelia
Aug 03 2011 08:31 PM
Hey,

Don't feel bad. You wrote what you feel. You should never have to apologize or feel that way, when it comes to your feelings. Just try and go easy on yourself. :)

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