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lost in this

Posted by anji13 , 02 July 2011 · 52 views

every day is too long
my steel heart beats
too slow to feel
too heavy to carry

everyone wants me let go
how could i
how could this keep going

they never bother to follow me
on this haze I'm on
my souvenir -- another fire scorch scar

see my bruises
they never bother to see
another hint of this ghost I am now

i just want another coma
another lapse so this isn't real
am i the thing i haven't
wanted to become
something powerless
where life exits

i've reached the point
where my mess is self destructive
and my eyes can't recognize
that i am not a dream -- i am real

how could i
take steps when all my rungs are gone
i'm at the edge of this building
too numb to pull back

too dumb to see i have to

i try to find some briar of hope
in the hopelessness

i am alone
surrounded by sightless faces
no hearts left to believe me

i lost the vein keeping my life together
i'm wondering if it will ever go away
i am deep in a nightmare
sleeping the real world away

barely holding my grip on the
life that is real
my hands forget its important
and they release the rope

i search this world for words
that are not there
and my own eyes are those
of a stranger

we live like ghosts
having only pain and shame
to take our hearts again

i'm too afraid of one more loveless night
cause the demons will stay with me
they break out the knives
and fires
that consume my empty rooms

i am alone
even in my life
my loneliness takes my ghosts

June 2016

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