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Guest Message © 2013 DevFuse

 
Posted by anji13  
So I've been listening to a lot of music lately. It helps me deal with things I guess. I know its only July but autumn is coming and though I love the season, I hate the memories it brings. Fall is when I usually feel the most alone. August and September bring the anniversaries of the deaths of two very important people. The first is my...
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quote time

21 July 2012
Posted by anji13  
"Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn’t have
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back
And never moving forward so there’d never be a past"
~Linkin Park

I've pretty much been listening to this song over and over again lately. And all other music by Linkin Park. Every...
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doesnt matter

09 July 2012
Posted by anji13  
nothing
helps

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waves

08 July 2012
Posted by anji13  
every day comes up and at me
waves of heaviness and sluggish grief
there is no numbness from the cold waters
not any more.

every day i beg to be numb
i ache for its apathy

instead the ocean holds me
drowning my soul in
blackness and murky depths
out of safety's reach

i am the frightened child standing at the tide
sucked into the abyss
by...
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used to be

06 July 2012
Posted by anji13  
the more days that pass
the less i have to say
the less i need to say

just a pair of tired eyes
watching the wet world
each day a page

of a novel i dont want to read
just time
time i hate to have to breathe

take the steps
say the words
feel nothing

just powerful
downcasting waves
dredging me out to sea

undercurrent and nothing better
pain and...
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sleep child

05 July 2012
Posted by anji13  
There's so much left undone child
but sleep tonight
i know the day's are long
and more than we should have to bear
but sleep little one

we weren't supposed to be this way
and you're right
this isnt fair
days are not supposed end in
empty beds and nests

the days keep coming without fail
so fast and bare
some times i shiver in...
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after my dreaming

24 June 2012
Posted by anji13  
when my time comes
take me down to the river

wash my mistakes
from my skin
show me how to be whole again

when my dreaming is done
fly me on a silver wings
past the night
away from my shadows

warm me in a new star's shine
then let me drop
into a better fate

when I am broken
hardly anything left to see
will you visit me

bring me home in...
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the day to day

01 May 2012
Posted by anji13  
I find myself drifting.
Delving into places that my mind shouldn't go. Endlessly debating things that shouldn't still matter. And with it, of course, survives the darkness.

I hadn't overly realized how badly I have fallen back into old habits. Doing things that normal people do everyday has become so hard.

I sit up most of the...
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love's mistrust

26 February 2012
Posted by anji13  
I'm drowning
not waving
here in the darkness

I am suspended
way beneath the ice surface
fractured by reality
battered by the hate in you

fingers tear at my skin
release the blood
unleash the waves that carry me
no time for cries of help

when things were simpler
and our footsteps clearer
my child hand curled in yours
foreshadowing my...
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letters unsent

25 February 2012
Posted by anji13  
Dear old friend,

I haven't written when I should have. There hasn't been energy and mostly I must admit, to my own shame, that I don't think it matters any more. Not many things do these recent months. Part of me used to recognize when I was in trouble. But it seems that section of my self-awareness is now vacant.

Its hard to...
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