Pandora's Aquarium: Starting Over - Pandora's Aquarium

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Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!

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lissadawn likes this

I just wanna cry

16 June 2011
Posted by lissadawn  
Why? Why can't this skip over my kids??? why does this asshole have to keep pissing with her?? why can't I take this pain away from her? i'm trying so hard not to find any way to make his life a living hell!!! but all it will do is make things worse for her and her baby girl. I hate this damn crap!

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Keeping busy!

12 June 2011
Posted by lissadawn  
Well, I've been gone for a while! It's summer now and there's a lot more to do at home and at work!
I started my bible study for sex abuse survivors and I'm soooo excited! There were a couple of things that I thought were going to get in the way but God cleared the way!! :thumbsup:

Now to focus on getting...
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I hate going backwards!

19 April 2011
Posted by lissadawn  
I scared the crap out of myself yesterday.I saw what I thought was signs that my daughter might have been or was being SAd.
I had a horrible panic attack. :bawling:
I had to leave work. I thought I was going to be sick and my heart was going to jump right out of my chest. It was my worst nightmare come to life. I even contemplated the fact...
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Keeping focus!

15 April 2011
Posted by lissadawn  
So I have decided to do a few new things in my life in order to make things better for me and my family! I'm so excited about these changes!
Now I'm so scared that I will lose focus and fizzle half way through! Unfortunately so is everyone around me. :tear:
All my life that's all that has ever happened to me. Things...
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So worn out

13 April 2011
Posted by lissadawn  
So my sister and I went to my moms T appt today and talked for an hour and 45 min! I'm so worn out from talking and trying to figure out what to do with her.
I'm glad we did it but I'm also so tired of being her savior. I just have to keep remembering to keep things in perspective and that it's not up to me to be her rock....
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Well this sucks!

10 April 2011
Posted by lissadawn  
So I thought this was gonna be a good evening till I came home to find my husband had been drinking! :cry: :angry: :gaah:
Why oh why!!??

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Posted by lissadawn  
So all of my life I have had no self confidence. According to my mother I could never do anything right, my grandmother always compared me to other people and asked why I couldn't be more like the "perfect" kids and every man in my life wanted only one thing from me.
I have made a decision to follow the dream that I had when I...
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A day by myself!

06 April 2011
Posted by lissadawn  
The idea of spending a whole day by myself used to scare the crap outta me! It would leave me with nothing but my thoughts and this picture in my head of this unlovable, damaged and unworthy person that was me.
Then as my brain decided there was no hiding all the crud stuck and shoved in the back of my memories, curling up in a ball and...
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Posted by lissadawn  
So as I am making supper for my family and realizing that I had a pretty "normal" day. Nothing exciting happened, no flashbacks, no crazy feelings, no panic attacks. I should be happy and relieved. Instead I feel stuck.
Is it that I am so used to being on edge and tormented by the past that it's become a familiar and...
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A new beginning!

03 April 2011
Posted by lissadawn  
This is my first entry into my very first blog!
I named this "Starting Over" because that's what feels like I'm doing. Starting my "life" over again.
I'm learning how to love, trust, walk, talk, think for myself, express myself and everything I learned the first time.
But this time without the fear and...
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