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So, when my mom had found out about it she helped support me through it all. I have become very angry, sarcastic & cynical. I avoid crowded places and I hate family gatherings. I love my family very much but I just never enjoyed spending time with a group of people. I guess I was just more of a 1 on 1 type.
Anyhoot, My mother had passed on shortly after I married the greatest and most supportive husband I could have ever dreamed to have.
Mom always advised me not to tell my sisters because they would be too devestated by it, they couldn't handle it, I had to take care of myself etc.
After my mom passed on, I went on to have 3 beautiful babies of which the oldest one is only 5 years old.
My sisters have made snide comments regarding my children's behavior, my parental skills and my discipline skills. I consider myself to be a fairly strict parent...however they are little kids who are going to be careless, rough and on top of it, one boy has Aspergers and the other is Bi-Polar/Eplileptic.
So. i went to a Birthday party for my sister and heard one too many snide comments about my childs behavior.
I completely went nuts and began screaming at each one of them calling them out on how I was always being treated and judged and even told the most evil of them all that she needs to get off her pedestal because it's dangerous....pedestals rock.
About 2 weeks later I was brough in for an interventionw ith the 2 oldest sisters to try to patch things up. They took it upon themselves to write down everything about me that is offensive to them and continued to tell me my parenting skills aren't the greatest.
I've contemplated telling them about the R*pe so they can understand why my personality or behaviors may be the way they are...but on the other hand tehre must be a good reason my mother had told me not to confide in them.
I just wish tehre was a way they could get off my back about my personality and we could still be sisters without me having to tell them what happened.
I feel that if I don't tell them what happened, our relationship is going to permanently suffer....but if I do; I'm not so sure it's the best thing for me.
Too much to think about.
All of this has been going on since October. I've missed all fo the holidays with my family, parties etc. I'm always invited, but I politely decline most of the time.
I'm so confused about all of this.