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My analysis as a survivor on Frozen's Let it Go song

Posted by why233 , 25 March 2014 · 240 views

I think I've read most of the analyses online of the song "Let it Go" in Disney's Frozen.  I absolutely love both the song and this movie, and so I think it is about time that I offer my take on this song as a rape survivor.
"The snow glows white on the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen
A kingdom of isolation,
And it looks like I’m the queen."
Of all of the feelings I have felt, none felt as isolating as the feelings of first experiencing the memories of being raped.  That first initial realization of being raped left me feeling instantly isolated from the rest of the world.  I thought I was alone, that no one could possibly know what I was going through or how to get better from it.  I felt like such a victim, alone and helpless.
"The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I tried."
Oh how much I did try to ignore the flashbacks, and ignore what happened to me.  If only I could pretend like nothing happened, then maybe things would go back to the way they were before everything was like this.  But the "swirling storm inside" of me reminds me that I can never go back to the way things were before I was raped.
"Don’t let them in, don’t let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know
Well, now they know."
Again, this whole part reminds me of the struggle I had with coming to the realization that I was raped, and the struggle of trying to ignore the flashbacks and nightmares I was having.  It is the whole struggle of trying to pretend I was "ok."  It also was a continual struggle of pretending I was "ok" to people whom I never wanted to know about my story, like my parents, and the continual struggle of hiding that information from them, and yet feeling so vulnerable... like the fact that I was raped was written all over my face, and the panic in them finding out.
"Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door."
Again, this is the struggle and worry of people finding out.  The last line here in particular reminds me of the physical barrier of "slamming the door" that I used to distance myself and protect myself when I get too afraid that they would find out.
"I don’t care
What they’re going to say
Let the storm rage on,
The cold never bothered me anyway."
But then again, maybe I didn't care if they found out?  This reminds me of how much I told myself that maybe it didn't matter to me.  It is funny how much you can lie to yourself to protect yourself from your anxieties and fears.
"It’s funny how some distance
Makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me
Can’t get to me at all."
But with distance and without those anxieties and fears, and in my safe place, I can start to heal from my trauma.  And the healing makes my fears and worries seem smaller.
"It’s time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me
I’m free."
If I can just be brave and face my fears... maybe I can do anything!  If I don't let my flashbacks, my nightmares, my fears, the aftermath of being raped bother me... maybe I can be free.
"Let it go, let it go
I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go
You’ll never see me cry."
I can let all my fears and worries go away, for I am a survivor, not a victim!  Rapist, you will never see me cry, for you can't get to me anymore, I won't let you!
"Here I stand
And here I'll stay
Let the storm rage on."
As long as I stay here, in my safety net, nothing can happen to me.  Go ahead, bring it!  I've already survived being raped, there isn't much I can't survive!
"My power flurries through the air into the ground
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around
And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast
I’m never going back,
The past is in the past."
I'm a survivor, and I can heal.  And through healing, I am so much stronger than I was.  In fact, I am stronger for dealing with all of this than I was before I was raped.  I'm not sure I want to be the person I was before I was raped, because that would mean I would never have gotten the opportunity to heal and develop my inner strength. 
"Let it go, let it go
And I'll rise like the break of dawn
Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone."
I no longer feel innocent anymore.  But perhaps this isn't a bad thing.  I feel smarter, stronger, and a better person now.  And there is beauty in not having to be perfect.
"Here I stand
In the light of day
Let the storm rage on,
The cold never bothered me anyway."
I am myself.  Part of that includes me as a survivor, but I am more than just a survivor.  Sure, I am not the same person I was before I was raped.  And, yes, I still may, from time to time, get flashbacks and nightmares.  The aftermath of rape may still affect me.  But I am not broken.  I am stronger.  I know I can get through it.  I have already healed so much, and I am still healing.  But I know I can do this.  I can heal, and I can succeed in anything I want to do.  It doesn't bother me anymore.

April 2015

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