Pandora's Aquarium: I miss him so much... - Pandora's Aquarium

Jump to content

Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!

There is still plenty of time and spaces if you'd like to sign up for the Guest Speaker Chat scheduled for this Saturday!

Welcome to Pandora's Aquarium, a rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivor message board and chat room.
If you've been a victim of any type of sexual violence, you belong here. What you see below represents just a fraction of the resources and survivor support available. Register now to join our community and take full advantage of what this online support group has to offer you as you heal and recover, or sign in to remove this message.

You are not alone, we can support you as you heal, and you've made an important step toward recovery by reaching out. If you are unable to register or have any questions, please contact the staff or view our home page.


I miss him so much...

When he said he wanted to be my friend and nothing more...I just died inside. But he still wanted to go to the movies, to walk, to do the things we had been doing...and I said no. I want some time to heal, and I want some time to put myself together. If you want me to be your friend, I NEED to stop seeing you as a man and start seeing you as a friend.

For me, it's weird. With male friends (which are two or three), they're another girl. I mean, I don't see them as men, I see them as friends. They are not men in my eyes, they're just another girl I hang out with. This doesn't mean they're gay, cuz they're not, but I don't bother on saying 'I have girl-friends and guy-friends', they're all the same.

He wasn't a guy-friend; he stopped being an asexual being a long time ago. In our last dates, he was a man in my eyes. I loved him. I mean, I loved him...it just hits me that I did. And I can't make that transition of seeing him as a friend, because I had no 'why' he just saw me as a friend. There are things male friends don't do. He kissed me, he went to the movies, to the theatre, we walked together late at night alone on the streets, we went to the bay, we talked to each other every single day. I mean, that's not a friend to me. My friends don't pay for my food or my tickets or drive me home when they have to get up early and work on the next day.

I dunno. I'm not in a right state of mind now, I don't know why. I just miss him so much it hurts. I just went with some of my friends to have a few drinks cuz one of them is leaving on a scholarship, and I felt so...alone. In a crowd, I felt like a part of me was missing. And it hurts.
 

0 Comments On This Entry

May 2013

S M T W T F S
   1234
567891011
12131415161718
192021 22 232425
262728293031 

Recent Entries

My Blog Links

Just FYI

The two times I wrote here, it was out of anger. It was to vent. I'm a weird person, I know that, but please, please, if you comment, use R, T and only safe hugs. I know it sounds weird, but that's part of the way I cope with this.

Recent Comments


Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.