I was talking to a friend from work today (I've known her for almost 7 months now). She was telling me about her husband, and how she had been pretty reckless before knowing him. And then she asked me about myself, and I told her I have had a boyfriend before, for months, but that it all ended horribly wrong. She asked why...and I couldn't tell her, I just couldn't. She still kept asking, and I told her he had done something a man should never do to a woman...and she asked if he had cheated on me, and I said no..that it had been something worse. She loooked at me with a puzzled look in her face...but I didn't say anything. I was dying to say something, but she's a friend at work..I dunno where to find the limit on what to say and what not to. And I didn't know, I just didn't. What if she stopped talking to me. What if she looks down on me. What if she never speaks to me again.
I just. I don't know. I'm crying like a baby right now. I wish he had killed me, not left me alive. Everyone just asks, and I don't know what to say. It's stupid, it's horrible, and I hate him, even though I believed he was the love of my life at the time. Shit.