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I miss him so much...

05 August 2011
Posted by Lucchia  
When he said he wanted to be my friend and nothing more...I just died inside. But he still wanted to go to the movies, to walk, to do the things we had been doing...and I said no. I want some time to heal, and I want some time to put myself together. If you want me to be your friend, I NEED to stop seeing you as a man and start seeing you as a...
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Heartbroken

03 June 2011
Posted by Lucchia  
He just wants to be my friend, while I´m in love. And he wants to be friends, cuz he ´doesn´t want to lose me´. But I´m heartbroken. And I can´t stop crying.

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Posted by Lucchia  
He never makes a move...he doesn't even realize. And I was getting tired of it. So I texted him. I told him

'X, at this point I love you more as a man than as a friend. And it was hard for me to tell you this, because I dunno where you stand and I don't wanna lose you as a friend'.

I sent that hours ago. No response. Dunno what...
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I'm in love. SH*T

25 May 2011
Posted by Lucchia  
And I hate that I'm in love. IM SUCH A MORON. I SHOULDNT BE LETTING MYSELF FALL IN LOVE AGAIN. It's like I'm asking for it...I feel like an idiotic cow for liking him.

But still...he takes me to the movies, takes me to a restaurant, pays for my tickets (although I bribed him into letting me pay for the food). He doesn't kiss me,...
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I need help..

19 May 2011
Posted by Lucchia  
It has come to the point where I need to start going to T again. I'm going insane. There's my cousin, there's me, and there's the fact that I'm in love and not entirely sure of how to deal w/it in a healthy manner. I SIed yesterday, out of the blue. I didn't plan to, I tried to stop, but I couldn't control myself. I...
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In pain

17 May 2011
Posted by Lucchia  
I still cannot believe what is happening. My cousin has leukemia, advanced leukemia. Was diagnosed sometime around March, but my mother told me on Sunday (I suspect it kind of slipped, cuz she wanted to hide it later), Dunno if she was planning to hide it until he died or what. He's 26...it's insane. There's not much else I can say...
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Posted by Lucchia  
I said I didn't know if I was dating a friend at work or not. Now I think it's becoming obvious that we are.

So, I gave him a present for his bday (193..something version of Scarface) and a horror-movie book (which was mine....but I never read it, so I gave it to him cuz he likes that type of movie). ANyway, he said thank you (big hug and...
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Posted by Lucchia  
My sister came with her husband to my house today. My parents were there. We had a nice afternoon. When she was about to leave, we started talking, and I started looking at her skin (I have this issue with zits, and skin stuff...I always look at my family's skin). All of a sudden she raises her arm like she's going to hit me. And she was...
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Posted by Lucchia  
I was talking to a friend from work today (I've known her for almost 7 months now). She was telling me about her husband, and how she had been pretty reckless before knowing him. And then she asked me about myself, and I told her I have had a boyfriend before, for months, but that it all ended horribly wrong. She asked why...and I couldn't...
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Posted by Lucchia  
**SPOILERS for anyone who hasn't read the book*

(By the way, I'm sorry for the length, but I had to get this out...and it turned out to be quite angering)


So, I shipped 'The Luckiest Little Girl in the World' from USA into my country (cause almost no english books get here) under the impression that it was a good book. found...
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Just FYI

The two times I wrote here, it was out of anger. It was to vent. I'm a weird person, I know that, but please, please, if you comment, use R, T and only safe hugs. I know it sounds weird, but that's part of the way I cope with this.

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