Welcome to Pandora's Aquarium, a rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivor message board and chat room.
If you've been a victim of any type of sexual violence, you belong here. What you see below represents just a fraction of the resources and survivor support available. Register now to join our community and take full advantage of what this online support group has to offer you as you heal and recover, or sign in to remove this message.
You are not alone, we can support you as you heal, and you've made an important step toward recovery by reaching out. If you are unable to register or have any questions, please contact the staff or view our home page.
The bad news of that is that we got a notice that we are loosing our office space for the other business at the end of the month. Yeah, we can work on it outside of that office, we can find something that is less expensive and that doesn't cause us so much hardship to try to pay, and maybe even free up more money from it... but... That business is where my heart is. The other one I work because I have to. But the one that is in flux is the one that I love.
I think it's more than that, though. See, normally I would shrug it off and say "OK!" we'll just make other things work for a while until we can find some place even better. I guess I try to stay pretty optimistic. But this time, OMG, I feel like I've completely lost my mind with grief. I think it is because the business was so important to my dad. The space we are in was so important to him. When he died suddenly in 2008, it was so shocking and it tore our entire family apart. We've never recovered. I guess I feel like I'm loosing a big part of him. Maybe the only part I feel like I really have left. Last night I felt worse than the day he died. That's major.
I am feeling a little bit better today, but not by much. I am literally grieving. In the last 18 hours, I have struggled with the hopelessness, and the desire to fight it. With suicidal moments, even, which I haven't truly felt in 12 years.
I feel like I have lost so much recently, and have also gone through a string of assaults recently, and I was just starting to get some traction and some hope back and then this happens and I feel like I fell farther than I was before. I'm sure it's just the freshness of it. I'm just so.... broken.
Thank you for letting me write this out - I needed a place to just jot down my thoughts, so they aren't running around in my head anymore. :tear:
:hug: s are always accepted, and very needed right now.
Love and Light
0 Comments On This Entry
My Story - My Childhood - Dad's Side of the Family
on Jun 02 2011 04:14 PM
Member of the Month
on Jun 02 2011 02:10 PM
When it Rains, it pours
on Feb 25 2011 12:51 PM
on Feb 22 2011 02:31 PM
One good thing!
on Feb 13 2011 02:03 PM