Help
Welcome to Pandora's Aquarium, a rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivor message board and chat room.
If you've been a victim of any type of sexual violence, you belong here. What you see below represents just a fraction of the resources and survivor support available. Register now to join our community and take full advantage of what this online support group has to offer you as you heal and recover, or sign in to remove this message.
You are not alone, we can support you as you heal, and you've made an important step toward recovery by reaching out. If you are unable to register or have any questions, please contact the staff or view our home page.
Please give me your feedback on this, I want to post it on my facebook and eventually create a few to post together for anyone to read.
Something like this needs to be written, and you get to be the first to read it. Spread it around if you like because things like this need to be spread around.
I was raped in the fall of 2006 and I was sexually assaulted to a lesser extent in the fall of 2008. The second one taught me, among many other things, that it doesn't matter how far the assault goes, the aftermath is just as bad. Believe someone that no matter how "stupid" their assault was or how "it could have been much worse" that the pain they are experiencing is real and needs to be validated.
People speaking out that they've been raped is hard, but telling someone that something happened but it ended before they were raped can be harder. Think about it, it can be harder to believe that it wasn't the person's fault or that someone is saying trying to say they actually regretted it but don't want to blame themselves for it ever happening. Let me give you advice, no matter what someone says, whether it is a guy or a girl, whether it is rape or something less, believe them. 1 in 6 women will be survivors of rape or attempted rape in their lifetime and the outlook for men only drops to 1 in 33 in their lifetime. That means there is a heck of a lot of survivors out there and not a lot of them are speaking about it. If you thought you didn't know someone, you now know that you know me and I'm sure somewhere along the way you will, or already have, met a guy in the same position. Think of a college lecture hall, there are probably 33 guys in there.
You want to know what else this means? There are plenty of us speaking out about what happened and being blamed for what happened, told we are lying, told we asked for it. Trust me, I've heard it all. It helps keep the safety bubble for others. After all, if the victim had some, if not all, of the responsibility for what happened to them, then the rest of the world can control the safety of their own lives. Apparently, denial works for the victim as well as those that hear their story.
Something like this needs to be written, and you get to be the first to read it. Spread it around if you like because things like this need to be spread around.
I was raped in the fall of 2006 and I was sexually assaulted to a lesser extent in the fall of 2008. The second one taught me, among many other things, that it doesn't matter how far the assault goes, the aftermath is just as bad. Believe someone that no matter how "stupid" their assault was or how "it could have been much worse" that the pain they are experiencing is real and needs to be validated.
People speaking out that they've been raped is hard, but telling someone that something happened but it ended before they were raped can be harder. Think about it, it can be harder to believe that it wasn't the person's fault or that someone is saying trying to say they actually regretted it but don't want to blame themselves for it ever happening. Let me give you advice, no matter what someone says, whether it is a guy or a girl, whether it is rape or something less, believe them. 1 in 6 women will be survivors of rape or attempted rape in their lifetime and the outlook for men only drops to 1 in 33 in their lifetime. That means there is a heck of a lot of survivors out there and not a lot of them are speaking about it. If you thought you didn't know someone, you now know that you know me and I'm sure somewhere along the way you will, or already have, met a guy in the same position. Think of a college lecture hall, there are probably 33 guys in there.
You want to know what else this means? There are plenty of us speaking out about what happened and being blamed for what happened, told we are lying, told we asked for it. Trust me, I've heard it all. It helps keep the safety bubble for others. After all, if the victim had some, if not all, of the responsibility for what happened to them, then the rest of the world can control the safety of their own lives. Apparently, denial works for the victim as well as those that hear their story.
Tags: facebook
Share This Entry:
NotBroken likes this
5 Comments On This Entry
Page 1 of 1
Recent Entries
-
I want to post this on facebook, validating survivorson Feb 08 2011 04:42 PM
I did notice one small typo I think, or maybe I'm just reading it funny. In the last paragraph the first sentence says "You want to what else this means?" I think you have said this very well though, and have some very good points. People need to be aware. Thanks for sharing!
squirrelz15, on 08 February 2011 - 07:23 PM, said:
I did notice one small typo I think, or maybe I'm just reading it funny. In the last paragraph the first sentence says "You want to what else this means?" I think you have said this very well though, and have some very good points. People need to be aware. Thanks for sharing!
Oh, that's a missed word, thanks. I posted once right after I was assaulted and yelled about how people need to stop blaming the victim just because they were friends with their assailant and need to stop saying that someone asked for it. I'm not allowing my family read this, I'm going to do it so that my family can't see the post. It is scary, but it was well received the last time I it.
avalinemarie117, on 09 February 2011 - 11:39 AM, said:
Thank you, and your welcome lol. Yes, spread the word!