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not a good day

Posted by blueberrycoffee , 08 November 2012 · 29 views

Affraid to go to work. Afrid to be home. Afraid to see dr for the pain he caused. I am lost once again for words.. second time this time I tell no one. I won't come forward to the police. I can't tell my family. What are they going to think about me? The samething I'm thinking? What am I doing wrong? I don't know this person. He just pick...


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not a good day

Posted by blueberrycoffee , 08 November 2012 · 28 views

Affraid to go to work. Afrid to be home. Afraid to see dr for the pain he caused. I am lost once again for words.. second time this time I tell no one. I won't come forward to the police. I can't tell my family. What are they going to think about me? The samething I'm thinking? What am I doing wrong? I don't know this person. He just pick...


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HELP

Posted by blueberrycoffee , 19 October 2011 · 27 views

I am in need of some advice, after the last "R" I had started my life over tried to.
I tried to meet new people, one person who is married, her and i got off to a what i thought was a good thing, me her husband, and my husband, than all of a sudden i get blamed for sleeping with him when i didn't. not even close. I'm not even stable yet....


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Well now what?

Posted by blueberrycoffee , 11 July 2011 · 19 views

My perp just got out of Jail. He lives near my mother, which to keep myself safe, i won't go over there. That is not fair. but i need to be safe, and take percautions.
Haven't been on for a while, needed to take care of me! Im on my way.. baby steps are the best, always a bump in the road, but a road to recovery will soon come.

I apprechiate...


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4-13-11

Posted by blueberrycoffee , 14 April 2011 · 20 views

I once again, just can't deal with this anymore... I however did recieve one good letter from the courts. ONE Finally.. but when will this end? when willl i finally feel like i have done some good. I once thought my small voice would make an impact on our justice system, I guess I was wrong.. My small voice is doing nothing for the better good, but fo...


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trying to process this all

Posted by blueberrycoffee , 13 April 2011 · 13 views

I am trying to process everyting, lost of how many family memebers to deaths, that i haven't greaved over, 3 "R"S i have to deal with.... brining back memories that i can't handle, I feel so lost.... I have been feeling really low and bad for the last week.. now to top it off, court starts up again.... i can't fight anymore, I am now s...


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Gosh is this ever going to go away? bad day, still in need of help

Posted by blueberrycoffee , 11 April 2011 · 9 views

One more bad day just one right after another... To all of you who replied to my last post THANK YOU.
I know pandy's is here to help, I just can't help myself... I hate what i am doing, I hate how i am feeling... How could i fight so hard to get where i am at today, and feel so bad? there are so many feelings inside, i can't get out.. I just d...


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In need of some despreate help

Posted by blueberrycoffee , 10 April 2011 · 28 views

I am lost, i have no where else to run.. these thoughts in my head are starting to win... Please anyone who can help me please help me,,,, i don't ask for help much but I am reaching out for HELP.....


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so frustrated

Posted by blueberrycoffee , 01 April 2011 · 13 views

Who will finally listen?
Who will be there for me?
What would happen if?
When will I feel like me?
When will someone be there for me?
Why did I?
Why donít I?

I feel totally alone, no one seems to want to be there for me, I know I am the care giver, but when is someone going to care for me? My T seems to be backing off.. I want to back off, I want it to b...


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3-17 (more fear)

Posted by blueberrycoffee , 17 March 2011 · 13 views

More fear, why again? I donít understandÖ Was it or wasnít it? He kissed me, I didnít want to kiss back, he was inside me, I didnít want him to be. In my mind I was screaming stop, out of my mouth nothing. Why didnít I say anything, why did I just let it happen when all my screaming was inside my head? Why didnít I open my mouth?






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