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britt124brat's Blog



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fustrated with myself

Posted by britt124brat , 23 October 2013 · 63 views

I hate the way I feel...I'm always in a bad mood...its rare I'm happy...I have no desire to do anything anymore..I barley get out of bed...there are the rare times I'm happy for a Brief moment but it seems to be fading more and more...I no longer feel pleasure sexually at all...I tried it once since my last entry and was stupid and nvr told hi...


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feeling a little better today.

Posted by britt124brat , 16 October 2013 · 89 views

Me and my fiancee talked and actually had a nice conversation..It made me put more trust in him...I havn't fealt this comfortable in a while...He told me how instead of pushing through my triggers and ignoring them I have to tell him so he knows to stop doing these thing's...I know its true and I do feel bad about having to do it because obviously...


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:(

Posted by britt124brat , 13 October 2013 · 68 views

So the touch therapy didn't go well....didn't happen at all :(..he said he was down but I asked twice and nothing he just wants to rub by back and snuggle....I wanna feel comfortable doing that and can't...Idn what more to do..I don't think he realizes how bad I am emotionally and that I can't just do.this whenever he feels like it...I...


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hope

Posted by britt124brat , 12 October 2013 · 61 views

Tonight me any my fiancee are going to start step one to touch therapy...hopefully it works....I just need to feel close again....I want to enjoy his touch.I have hope for now and am nervous...he gets home in 10-15 min and we have dinner and our show....then hopefully ill feel comfortable getting a back.rub lol.


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sick of these feelings...need help.

Posted by britt124brat , 12 October 2013 · 90 views

I have so many things running in my head...I am happy to say I'm engaged to my bf almost 8 years :wub: :D ...but there are a few things I cant stop thinking about that are bothering me...we love eachother to death but I am emotionally discontented sexually and physically and its been getting worse...I feel bad that he's gonna maerry somebody as...


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:/

Posted by britt124brat , 14 June 2013 · 43 views

It's been a while again..still not in the greatest of moods....my allergies have been so bad this year that my eyes habe almost swollen shut twice in tue past 2 weeks....I have eye drops for em now from the Dr.....my relationship is still on the fritz.....we are trying to work on this but I don't see a point at the moment....Im affraid if setting...


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trapped

Posted by britt124brat , 06 May 2013 · 78 views

I feel like I'm drowning under water...my relationship as of the moment is crumbling...I habe so much pain and anger inside of me....I can't take it anymore...I cancelled my first therapy appointment....no longer have the strength to go....I had it for a while....I knew I shoulda tried to fine a therapist sooner....I knew two months was to long an...


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its been a while.

Posted by britt124brat , 02 May 2013 · 37 views

It's been a long week. Sorting through my health issues and a few busy good days between...I go to a therapist for the first time to talk about my abuse. I hope I have the courage to eventually open up....its killing me inside I need to sort through everything. I have so much to get off my chest and I am nervous...I don't have it in me to write an...


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scarred

Posted by britt124brat , 25 April 2013 · 55 views

It's been a while since I've been on here...I found out from the Dr I have this weird polycystic overt disorder thing...due to this it'll be harder for me to concieve and keep the pregnancy going. Also it can make me infertile and causes me to gain weight and makes it really hard to throw off along with cysts keep growing all over my overies.....


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confused :/

Posted by britt124brat , 10 April 2013 · 43 views

Me and my BfS relationship has been shakey for a while on and off....we love eachother to death but Idn if love is enough..we barley do anything sexually and non sexually..I get that he works 40 hours a week but when he's home we don't do anything...he usaully played a video game of is on the computer..his communication skills suck when I try ralk...






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