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What do you all hate about doctors?

Posted by voice*~* , 08 September 2014 · 75 views

I know I am not the only one who has fear going to the doctors. I hate touch and the uneasy feeling of wondering if they will listen to me. I want to know what scares you all about doctor appointments if you are willing to share.


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Talking intimacy with T (TW)

Posted by voice*~* , 26 June 2014 · 62 views

My T brought up the subject I have been dreading to talk about. Intimacy. I am a csa survivor and I have never been with a man other than my abuser. I hate being touched in any way, by others and even myself in many instances. I hadn't expected her to be so blunt with things though... She asked me if I pleasured myself... The question scared the hell out...


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2 days 14 hours 37 minutes (TW)

Posted by voice*~* , 27 May 2014 · 49 views

That's how long until my next T session. We have talked a lot about him, what I went through emotionally, even what torture techniques I have fantasized using on him, but so far I haven't been strong enough to take her back. Back to twelve years ago when I walked into that bedroom at 8-years-old. I haven't been able to verbalize what he did to me yet...


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I want to date...I think...

Posted by voice*~* , 21 May 2014 · 56 views

I keep fantasizing about that happy life everyone wants. A loving partner to share my deepest secrets with, to feel safe being intimate with, and to love and trust completely. I have always dreamed about getting married and having a family, but I can't stand kissing or being touched in even ways that are not intimate. I can't even tolerate most Dr. visits...


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Back

Posted by voice*~* , 19 May 2014 · 52 views

I am back, I can't ever stay gone forever. This time though, I come back admitting I am still broken, but that I know I see a light at the end of this terrible tunnel created by CSA.
 
My big brother died in November and shortly after that I sought out a therapist, but not just for his death, for the CSA also. My family has never been supportive of w...


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I think I found it

Posted by voice*~* , 16 July 2012 · 126 views

I have been gone from Pandy's for around 7 months now. While I was gone I have started to find myself and freedom. I just stopped in to check on old friends. I am not sure if I will be back or not, because I think in my healing I have out grown Pandy's. Pandy's was a start for me and it gave me so much, but I don't think I need it anymore....


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It's been a while

Posted by voice*~* , 19 November 2011 · 91 views

I havenít been on in a while. There were some family problems that had to be worked out. Besides that there isnít much new to say. I am starting an autobiography/SA help book I guess you could call it. It is going to have my story and other aspects of my life, but it is going to focus more on the healing process and the emotional bondage victimsí face. I...


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It's been a while

Posted by voice*~* , 19 November 2011 · 105 views

I havenít been on in a while. There were some family problems that had to be worked out. Besides that there isnít much new to say. I am starting an autobiography/SA help book I guess you could call it. It is going to have my story and other aspects of my life, but it is going to focus more on the healing process and the emotional bondage victimsí face. I...


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First OB/GYN Appointment Yesterday

Posted by voice*~* , 06 October 2011 · 111 views

Yesterday had my first appointment at the ob/gyn. I needed to go to get a blood test to find out if I have high testosterone or something that is basically causing me to go through menopause at the age of 17. Terrified is an understatement to what I was. My last Dr.ís appointment at the pediatrician didnít go all too well and it through me for a loop for...


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Haven't been here in a while

Posted by voice*~* , 01 October 2011 · 101 views

Some days are still hard, but I am really working on making my life what I want it to be. I am even going to go to the Dr.'s; I hate being touched so I have been avoiding it for years. I am going to see if my female problems can be fixed so I will have a chance at having kids one day. Things are getting better; I just have to take one step at a time.






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