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I dreamt Shane died, and when i had heard he was dead i wouldn't believe it, i couldn't. And then i saw them bring him out of the mine where he had been working and the accident had happened and i saw his face and my heart shattered. (i still love him despite what he did to me). I broke down, i cried and fell to my knees next to him and pulled him close. I cried, i wouldn't believe it but he was dead. And i was so sorry for everything i had done to him. In the dream i was apologising over and over again. And realising it was too late, i would never be able to make things right. He had died hurting because of me. In the dream i felt like all the hurt and pain he had caused me was made up in my mind. I felt that i had hurt him by leaving him and spreading lies about him and that i was a horrible person and the way he had treated me had been my own fault. I blamed myself for everything and wished i could go back and change it all and be the perfect girlfriend for him but he was dead and i was too late to ask for his forgiveness.
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