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etchasketch's Blog


life update, could use a hug.

Posted by etchasketch , 03 December 2013 · 160 views

I'm back after another hiatus from Pandys. There is just a lot going on. So here it goes. 
I'm poorer than I've ever been. Its ok, I moved to a new place, got a much lower paying job, I sort of anticipated this but it's still hard. My health is suffereing because of it, I've developed a pretty significant diabetes complication and its forcing me to r...


9 years-reflection

Posted by etchasketch , 24 September 2013 · 113 views

Septmeber - Decemeber is always rough for me- those are my "worst" anniversary months, in that span of time the worst abuse happened. I always dread the end of summer. I start feeling really weird around the end of August and then the intense PTSD kicks in. Yet this year was different. It took me a few seconds of calculations to even remember how...


sick, alone

Posted by etchasketch , 18 September 2013 · 179 views

Things are kind of rough. I'm feeling really hopeless about my future.
I just took a leap and moved to a brand new city. It's good - I think I am in the right place but naturally there is an adjustment period. It's just all this other stuff that is going on that is making it more difficult. What's the old adage- "wherever you go, there...


Moving, a few thoughts.

Posted by etchasketch , 30 January 2012 · 106 views

I'm trying to move to a new city this summer. I have never been so motivated to move on...I think that is good, a sign of progress regarding my anxiety. It's scary though.
The last time I moved to a new city was almost 8 yrs ago. I left my parents house to move to the city, attend art school. I was there for 4 days before I met my most horrific ab...


positive blog post for once

Posted by etchasketch , 28 January 2012 · 96 views

I've been so sad lately and I really try to not bring that to work (I teach at an elementary school). It's been hard lately...
Yesterday though, my kids were so sweet and so cute. As soon as they started arriving at my classroom, several of them asked if I wanted a hug.. out of the blue, it was so nice. I got so man hugs yesterday completely unpro...


Dehumanized (trigger, sex, dating)

Posted by etchasketch , 16 January 2012 · 92 views

I haven't written a blog in a while. A lot has happened. This guy i was dating all summer/part of fall (Was friends with for a long time before that...) admitted in october that he just wanted to keep me around to fuck me. I thought I loved him. I did love him. It was really difficult to know that someone I trusted so deeply could see me the same way...


nothing (trigger warning)

Posted by etchasketch , 27 August 2011 · 77 views

The East Coast is in the middle of a weather emergency/hurricane. I am trapped in my apartment, alone, the entire weekend. This is not good.
I have already been so depressed. I was dating this guy for a few months, everything was going well, even with all my issues considered. Then he moved to a city four hours away. We still talk but he keeps insisting...


So so so sad

Posted by etchasketch , 12 March 2011 · 109 views

I've been signing onto Pandy's almost daily for the last 2 months, but I can't figure out what to write. I have a lot going on. I am feeling something so deep- pain? It's not quite pain. Its just very intense.
I broke up with my boyfriend of five years. It just sort of happened. It was an endless cycle of emotional abuse...I don't kno...


eyes, memory, grief

Posted by etchasketch , 29 January 2011 · 57 views

I'm feeling very emotional and confused. I hope that I can just write it out here...I am feeling so many things at once.
A few days ago I wanted to trigger a flashback. I was feeling so bad...I almost wanted to remind myself of how bad the abuse was..I needed validation. Its been about 6 yrs and sometimes, when things in my life are going relatively w...



Posted by etchasketch , 15 January 2011 · 62 views

I haven't had therapy in three weeks. First, there was the holiday and the office wasnt open..then my therapist's kid was sick, then there was a snow emergency last week. I am going crazy. I'm thinking about checking myself in somewhere because I feel really suicidal for the first time in...about a year. I know that they will be screwed at wor...

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