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Trying

Posted by xRainx , 20 January 2011 · 93 views

I'm trying so hard to be happy. Everyone says, "Just don't think about it." or "Try to be happy today." I AM trying. I'm trying very hard. But the more I fake it the worse I'm feeling. I nearly can't conceal it anymore.

I know they didn't let me go from my job because of me. They both explained how much they wanted to keep me. How the website was successful for me. That they loved my writing. I know they let me go solely because they could not afford to keep me on, but....I can't help but lose confidence. In my exit interview, he said that the only thing he would recommend was for me to be more confident. He said I had the skill, but I need to take more risks and initiative.

:: sigh ::

I've never been one to think that your job defined who you are. I'm trying to not let the SA define who I am either. I want to consider myself a survivor and not a victim. But that job helped me feel like I had purpose. I was helping hurting parents share their stories. Now, the site is dead, and they don't have that voice anymore. For once something felt good and now that is gone.

Why do all good feelings have to go away?



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Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.