Small towns vs. Big cities.
There really are not any homeless people here. Seems like everyone takes care of eachother around here. I know there are many people with issues here, and everyone pretty much knows everyone elses story.
Everyone knows me, knows where I enjoy spending my time, knows where I work, and some even know the things that have happened to me.
This is a blessing and a curse really. Seems I can't even go for a night on the town without everyone and their dog knowing about it. It's really gotten to the point where I really don't care, but I make much effort to "behave" myself to protect my reputation whilst in public.
I really have not spent very much time in the city. Only for a night or so with friends, or during family reunions and such. Never had much time to explore. I've been told a time or two that I'm a city girl at heart. Most people around here tend to dress in casual or western-ish clothes. I'm drawn to things with skulls. I'm not a goth, but my wardrobe definantly has a gothic/wild child air to it.
Well I decided to go on a 4 day trip to the city with 3 close friends. We wanted to just let our hair down and be crazy for a few days away from work, and all lifes responsibilities.
It was SUCH a different antmosphere. Don't get me wrong, I absolutley loved it, and had the time of my life!!! But certain things about the city are very depressing. Homeless people. . .I feel sorry for them.
I have always been the type to enjoy people watching and wondering "What kind of life does that person live?" Its sad to think about homeless people. So many things run through my mind when I see someone in ragged clothes holding a sign that says, "Will work for food.", "Homeless" , "Spare change, please." or even some that are kinda funny, "I won't lie, I need a beer." The one that really broke my heart that I saw was holding a sign that says, "Could you spare a miracle?"
I can't help but wonder, How did they end up there? Do they have a family somewhere that should be helping them? Did they take some wrong directions in life, but are deep down good people? Or is this karma kicking them in the ass for doing something very bad? If someone helps them, will they by food, or drugs? What are the events that put this person on the streets?
Sometimes I want to do something to help them, but other times I don't. On a rare occasion, I will have good enough vibes about someone to spare a dollar or two, or even a ciggarette or two. However, others send off vibes that make me feel like maybe they don't deserve any of the spare change that I have worked for.
I feel really bad when I feel that way. Who the hell am I to judge. I can definantly say I know how far down addiction takes people. I can see myself in so many of their sad faces. That could be me if I didn't stop what I was doing. That was my plan for a while. . .move to the city, where no one knew me, and just do what I wanted. . .and I just know thats where I would have ended up.
Okay. . .that concludes my daily ramblings.