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Small towns vs. Big cities.

Posted by NurseWithaPast , 05 September 2010 · 108 views

All my life I have only lived in small towns. . . mainly just one. It seems so natural for me to walk into any given business or store and know everyone I see.
There really are not any homeless people here. Seems like everyone takes care of eachother around here. I know there are many people with issues here, and everyone pretty much knows everyone elses story.
Everyone knows me, knows where I enjoy spending my time, knows where I work, and some even know the things that have happened to me.
This is a blessing and a curse really. Seems I can't even go for a night on the town without everyone and their dog knowing about it. It's really gotten to the point where I really don't care, but I make much effort to "behave" myself to protect my reputation whilst in public.

I really have not spent very much time in the city. Only for a night or so with friends, or during family reunions and such. Never had much time to explore. I've been told a time or two that I'm a city girl at heart. Most people around here tend to dress in casual or western-ish clothes. I'm drawn to things with skulls. I'm not a goth, but my wardrobe definantly has a gothic/wild child air to it.
Well I decided to go on a 4 day trip to the city with 3 close friends. We wanted to just let our hair down and be crazy for a few days away from work, and all lifes responsibilities.

It was SUCH a different antmosphere. Don't get me wrong, I absolutley loved it, and had the time of my life!!! But certain things about the city are very depressing. Homeless people. . .I feel sorry for them.

I have always been the type to enjoy people watching and wondering "What kind of life does that person live?" Its sad to think about homeless people. So many things run through my mind when I see someone in ragged clothes holding a sign that says, "Will work for food.", "Homeless" , "Spare change, please." or even some that are kinda funny, "I won't lie, I need a beer." The one that really broke my heart that I saw was holding a sign that says, "Could you spare a miracle?"
I can't help but wonder, How did they end up there? Do they have a family somewhere that should be helping them? Did they take some wrong directions in life, but are deep down good people? Or is this karma kicking them in the ass for doing something very bad? If someone helps them, will they by food, or drugs? What are the events that put this person on the streets?
Sometimes I want to do something to help them, but other times I don't. On a rare occasion, I will have good enough vibes about someone to spare a dollar or two, or even a ciggarette or two. However, others send off vibes that make me feel like maybe they don't deserve any of the spare change that I have worked for.
I feel really bad when I feel that way. Who the hell am I to judge. I can definantly say I know how far down addiction takes people. I can see myself in so many of their sad faces. That could be me if I didn't stop what I was doing. That was my plan for a while. . .move to the city, where no one knew me, and just do what I wanted. . .and I just know thats where I would have ended up.

Okay. . .that concludes my daily ramblings.


Tell ya what sweetie, sounds like you really needed the holiday though :) Compare this entry with the previous one. Yeah sounds like you got a bit of culture shock, though the homelessness problem in America sounds worse than here... though here it's pretty bad, just more hidden due to vagrency laws, and move along laws... homeless people have to find little spots they can hide (under bridges and stuff) and can't put up signs (unless busking)... but they are there and still even now if I get a good vibe about someone I'll slip them a dollar or buy them a coffee.... there was this homeless (very mentally unwell) aboriginal man who always slept in the city, he was very harmless but also didn't really seem with it at all (and I don't think it was drugs)... he never used to beg - he's one I felt sorry for a lot, would give him cigarettes and some coins if I saw him (he used to sleep at a bus stop I used a lot on my way to university or work) but sometimes could be found at random places after dance parties in the valley... it was odd he really appreciated it but he was also off in his own little world so he hardly noticed - one Xmas I slipped him ten bucks and ten cigarettes and hoped he could try the red cross for xmas lunch and got a beautiful smile and nod of acknowledgement - it was the best xmas gift for me that year for sure.... it was like he had to put all the effort he could in noticing the gift... so sad... I hope someone has helped him out (he just seemed to have slipped through the gaps in the mental health system.... I once did see him years later at the hospital I was working from... well I think it was him but hard to say...).... lol now who's rambling

Hope your holiday Rocked! And you feel better and refreshed
Heaps of hugs,

October 2015

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