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10 2009-2010 Poems

Posted by soulconstance , in Multiple Poems 17 July 2010 · 62 views


Circumstances

In between the circumstances
of you and me are the curtains that
leave us to bleed on your sofa,
but you decree that it has to be
you and me
between the unpleasant trees.


---
Why do people struggle to get back into destructive relationships. I mean when the other person doesn't want to enter back into a relationship with someone, and that someone, after all that happened in said relationship, tries their hardest to ignore and bury everything bad that happened in it, to bring back that other person. Especially when the someone who is fighting to enter back in said relationship was the one that broke it off in the first place? Seriously, I don't get it... but that's what this poem is about.
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Dreams of Jealousy

Creep into your dreams
of butterflies! and imaginary whiles!
are your fears, black places,
I feel the corduroy tightening.
Believe me and believe it!
It's ridiculous wires
that hand these meat hooks
of selfish jealousy.
Why does he hold the lantern
high where neither of you can reach?

You use the same words,
all the while
pretending it were another,
but you believe belonging.
So he has no choice
but to run over thin Is
till it breaks into your rain!

You made it this way...


---
So, I once dated this girl who broke up with me then sent me out on a date. I moved away and she constantly had dreams that I was dating someone else. She was jealous and paranoid about it. She would call me up and tell me how she had a dream that she came in on me sleeping with someone and punched them. Well, that's what this poem is about.
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Teacher of Pretend

You taught him something,
teacher of pretend.
Don't care about their tic-tacs,
but glass if he doesn't
give them to you.
You devilishly sly fox! You!
Make chains to destroy
the eyes.


---
When someone tells you to do what's best for you when it comes to other people, but continues to make things hard on you.
I guess we all do it, but it doesn't make it anymore frustrating... especially when they act like all you should care about is them, that you should focus on them, and that you should be dedicated to them because otherwise you're tearing them apart.
Hypocrisy is stunningly strange to me. Like when they do something to you and expect it to be ok, but aren't ok with someone else doing it to you... like disrespecting boundaries. What's even funnier is when you tell them you do or don't like something, and they don't respect that... but then they get mad when someone else does - and asks like that person is actually disrespecting you. Ugh.
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A Fae's Wings

Feathers in his hair -
he's a faery you twit!
Faeries fly only for themselves!
They'll take you with
if you don't subsidize,
and categorize,
and plagiarize,
and demonize
their wings!


---
I can't carry the weight of your guilt, your anger, and your callous way of loving. I also can't be myself when you're treating me like everything about me is wrong - except the things you try to convince me that the world will not like. Some people, I tell ya.... are just like that.... and it p*sses me off.
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Walls

These six walls can speak:
"Good luck finding a way out
that the light can touch."

These walls will find you
coming from the same nowhere.
They will hold you down.

Do not force these walls
They will force you back, you see -
and destroy your hopes.

See, walls will kill you
With knives of retribution -
dreams of painful hearts.

Six walls to hold you,
Six around your frail body.
Crushing you beneath.

These six walls can feel:
All that you feel when you hide,
all that seems to love.



---
This is a serious of six haikus. The first I wrote as soon as I woke up... because I woke with it bouncing around in my head. Six is the number of walls in a cube if you count the top and bottom. This poem is about how relationships can constrain and be hurtful. It is about that moment when the dynamic changes from a loving relationship to one where one person has all the power, and they control the mood of the relationship and the abilities of those within it - to be free, to be happy, to have a life, ect. It's about how, the person who has power... can pretend that it's actually about love (thus 'all that seems to love') when it's truly about power, about control... and how, all in all..... it's harmful, it's hurtful... and when the person who has the power has no intent or concept of causing pain, the walls can destroy them as well.
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Earned Hushes

While we say all these words
they wish to remain hushed.
We know it must be earned,
but you have to earn too.

Do birds not have their feathers
for their broken wings, fly?
Do beetles not have their shells
for their broken backs, walk -
and hide in a place
where trust is buried
for your tattered dreams submit
and hold you still (like a child).
Your crashed body
falling to it's misery
takes flight for a second
because fog builds.


You hit the hushed sound
because you have not earned
what you believe you so deserve.

---
This is about the person who thinks they've earned everything in such a short time - that believes they deserve to be told everything, including the deepest truths of someone's soul, or the passing glances that say more than they sound. It's about how that person gets angry and harms the ones that care about them by trying to force that out of them, expecting that they have a privilege that they have not earned.... or that they have lost because they are cruel or mean. It's also about breaking the communication when you realize that they're just going to continue being mad and expecting things that they don't deserve.
---------------------------

Mr. Crane

Mr. Crane nurses his neck
cascading waterfalls overhead,
he searches for safety.

Safety loosely found in rings
or other shiny things.
But rings pulled from the bones
because they lie, broken to dust.

Mr. Crane hops in the daylight
crippling morning glory to sing
there are no notes left for him.


---
This was written right after I started the process of getting divorced. I'm sure you can fill in the blanks.
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See You in the Summertime

I'll see you in the summertime
when the fall mist has lifted.
I'll see you when you let
the dreams become memories,
and memories no longer scream.

---
This was a poem I wrote to tell my x-girlfriend... basically: I'll talk to you again when you stop feeling so depressed about not dating me (she broke up with me)... I'll talk to you again, when you get rid of this facade you have built up, this BS about how you love me with all of you and I am this horrible person who broke your heart when you're the one that insults me because I won't give you the thing you gave up - me.
---------------------------

Mazes

I spent so much time walking
in circles that make me dizzy.
I wasn't running, you see,
because I couldn't tell
which way is up, which way is down.
It's really just a maze,
and I keep hitting rose bushes.


---
About how a person can put you in a situation where you don't know what to do because no matter what you do, you're always wrong, you're always the bad guy... you're always selfish and stupid and mean and everything horrible.
---------------------------

Eskimo

Who sees the fire
when you hide it in the snow?
Be the Eskimo
for you are mighty!


---
This is a joke about the song 'The Mighty Quinn' (aka Quinn the Eskimo)..... because my name is Quin
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That's that for now.

Copywrite Soulconstance aka Quin aka Me.



Trigger Warning

Warning: Some of my poetry and prose may be triggering. I write just about as much about survivor issues as I do about love.
Please keep yourself safe.

July 2016

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