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6 2009 Poems

Posted by soulconstance , in Multiple Poems 17 July 2010 · 18 views


The Fox Howl

The day squeezed through
the nights, tainted into.
Foxes howled?
Since when or where?

"She cried and it
sounded there."
Let me explain.

never mind


---
When the sadness of someone you love breaks your heart..... especially when you know you caused it in ways you can't control, change, or explain. This was written after my x-girlfriend broke up with me and she's spend so much time crying, listening to the same song over and over. Now, I realize that she was breaking her own heart... but she used me as a conduit - something to focus her sadness on. At the time, though, I felt that everything was my fault.
---------------------------

One-Way Protection

Reach hard into the cavity,
twist it till it breaks.
Feel the blood explode
and then fall hard.

I'll have a feather pillow
waiting far below for you.
Dive hard and fearlessly.


---
Sometimes you have to remove what's hurting - like an aching tooth. Sometimes it causes people to fall because once that break happens that allows the healing to start, they feel like they can't stand up. The point of the feather pillow was... I'll be waiting to catch them. There's no need to be afraid of the drop, let it happen... let that break happen - let the tears start... because I'll be there to protect you while you find your way. -- This was also to my x-girlfriend.
---------------------------

Monkey-Mouse Adventures

Trollops and skipping
away from all
known existence.

Make it smooth,
touch the rainbows.
Take heed of the clouds,
and keep a good parachute.


---
When things get too hard, and the only escape is a fantasy land inside your mind... you know the fall is coming. You can only pretend to be alright for so long till the tears come and you have to let yourself fall and cry and crash and just feel the pain that's welling up. -- 'Keep a good parachute', if you watch for it, you can tell when it's coming... keep something close to sooth the aching, to help the pain so you don't fall so fast that you hurt yourself in the process.
---------------------------

Twisting

Twisting into the wires
of turning machinery,
trying to break free of me.

Then take what you want
and be gone.


---
I wrote this because I felt like people were just taking what they wanted from me... telling me to leave, but then holding on to me and trapping me. I would rather they take what they want and then leave... rather than to hold on while acting like I was the one trapping them so they can continue to suck the life out of me.
---------------------------

The Empty Rocker

The empty rocker sits,
painted with smiles.
Words desolate because of wonders
of who you could be.

When it is my time to sit
in the heart-worn rocker,
will I be proud
of the seeds I have sewn,
or will I be dismayed
at the empty field before me?


---
Someday... I want a family of my own. The question here was... if I transition without staring one, will I ever have one... and will I look over my life and feel regret and loss because I never let myself have this one thing.
---------------------------

Night-Angels

When will you come for me?
Nine o'clock? Ten?
Fly by my window to wake me,
leaving angel-kisses on my nose.

I'll let you turn my hair grey
and steel my pocket-change.

---------------------------

Lyrics

Cut out a song on the radio.
Staple it to your eyes
so little dreams never forget.
You were once singing to me,
about the one that caught your eye.


---
That one song that just reminds you of someone you love... and how it can make the ache come back - and the tears flow again.
---------------------------

Violinist

It all feels the same,
the way you hold on,
clutching his violin with pride.
Still,
you see every shade in the grain
calling you back to it's grasp.
Hear the sullen solitude
till it wisps from your windows(ill).


---
There's this thing about some people... where they have these relationships that all feel the same... and it hurts all the same. It hurts even more, though, when you hold on tightly to the memory and let it eat your heart away. I wrote this both for myself and for my x-girlfriend (though I didn't quite see the first at the time), namely because she would tell me that I was like everyone else and that I didn't love her. Strange thing was, she broke up with me... I was just unwilling to keep going through hell with her when she had gotten to a point where she started to blame me for everything and insult me.
---------------------------

A Cup's Worth

Take this cup
and make it overflow.
Drink (ding) it up
till there is nothing.
You must jump
now before you can fly,
then only will you know.

"The sunlight will
keep the trees."
She kissed,
"Hold me still."


---
When the cup overflows... is it overflowing with sadness or with joy? With heartache or with love? You have to take that leap to feel to find out.
---------------------------

Story-Dreams

We write the same old stories
to pass the time away in here.
The light may pass for now
but the fire will burn still.
" will take all the stories,"
he said, "and I will make them new."


---------------------------

Opinions

We make down our dance
on paper with pen,
a tango of the lips.
Solid realization take on
till the world has been...
painted red and blue.


---
This is actually a political poem. It really bothers me to see how people separate themselves by political party, and because of it, refuse to listen to the other side. 'Democrat' and 'Republican' sound like dirty words now, because they're used to explain why that side is wrong. I say we need to listen to everyone - democrat, republican, independent, communist, anarchist, socialist... EVERYONE... and then we will realize what our country needs. Until then, we will continue to be miserable and probably just keep screwing each other over. (If you're wondering, I live in the US.... thus. We're like... hardcore about our political parties. It's creepy to me. And this is why I am signed up as an independent - I see that both sides at times are wrong and right and whatever. Political party doesn't change the fact that we are humans with specific needs.)
---------------------------


That's that for now.

Copywrite Soulconstance aka Quin aka Me.



Trigger Warning

Warning: Some of my poetry and prose may be triggering. I write just about as much about survivor issues as I do about love.
Please keep yourself safe.

July 2014

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